Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains a bar chart detailing the percentage of Australian men and women who engaged in regular physical activity in 2010 across five age groups. For ages 15 to 24, men are at 52.8% and women at 47.7%; ages 25 to 34 show men at 42.2% and women at 48.9%; ages 35 to 44 present men at 39.5% and women at 52.5%; ages 45 to 54 record men at 43.1% and women at 53.3%; ages 55 to 64 depict men at 45.1% and women at 53%; ages 65 and over illustrate men at 46.7% and women at 47.1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of australian men and women who did everyday physical activities in different age categories in 2001.

Overall, the percentage of men in physical activities decreased from 15 to 24 age group and increased from 45 to 54, and the proportion of women in physical exercises increased untill age category of 55 to 64.

To begin with, the percentage of physical exercises of men decreased from age group of 15 to 24 to the age group of 35 to 44, from age category of 45 to 54 the proportion of mens physical activities increased untill the age group of 65 and over.

In contrast,the proportion of physical activities of women increased from the starting category of 15 to 24 untill the age group of 55 to 64. In comparison, most womens did physical exersices from their 15’s to 54’s while mens did the most physical activities in their 15’s to 24’s.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

physical: 8

activities: 5

group: 5

increased: 4

percentage: 3

women: 3

proportion: 3

untill: 3

category: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some overall trends but lacks specific data to support the observations. There are also inaccuracies in the data cited (the year is incorrect). To improve, include specific percentages to illustrate the trends and ensure accuracy in the data presented. Also, the writing could be more concise and avoid repetition.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. The 'overall' paragraph attempts to summarize, but it lacks precision and clarity. The subsequent paragraphs contain some repetition and could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using 'similarly,' 'however,' or 'in addition' can help guide the reader through your analysis.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the description. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage of physical activities,' try using synonyms like 'participation rate,' 'proportion of exercise,' or 'level of activity.' Expanding your vocabulary range will make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('did everyday physical activities in 2001' when the chart refers to 2010), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'most womens did physical exersices from their 15's to 54's' contains multiple errors. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence structure. Proofreading carefully for errors in tense, agreement, and word order is essential.

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