Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains a bar chart detailing the percentage of Australian men and women who engaged in regular physical activity in 2010 across five age groups. For ages 15 to 24, men are at 52.8% and women at 47.7%; ages 25 to 34 show men at 42.2% and women at 48.9%; ages 35 to 44 present men at 39.5% and women at 52.5%; ages 45 to 54 record men at 43.1% and women at 53.3%; ages 55 to 64 depict men at 45.1% and women at 53%; ages 65 and over illustrate men at 46.7% and women at 47.1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australlan men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, The percentage of women accounted for the highest proportion, while the proportion of male recorded the lowest percentage.

The group of 15 to 24 accounted for the highest percentage, at 52.8% of male, an followed by the percentage of female, which made up 47.7%. The range of 25 to 34 age group recorded 42.2% of male, while the proportion of female accounted for 48.8%. In contrast, the group of 35 to 44 accounted for the smallest proportion, at 38.5% and followed by the percentage of women, which made up 52.5%.

The range of 45 to 54 age group amounted to the highest percentage, at 53.3% of female, while male recorded 43.1%. In contrast, the range of 55 to 64 age group, women and men accounted for 53% and 45.1%, respectively. The range of 65 to over accounted for 46.7% of men, and followed by female, which made up 47.1%.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

group: 6

accounted: 6

proportion: 5

percentage: 5

women: 4

female: 4

range: 4

highest: 3

while: 3

recorded: 3

followed: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, presenting the main features of the bar chart and making some comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., 38.5% instead of 39.5% for men aged 35-44). To improve, ensure all data is accurately transcribed and consider a more structured approach to comparing and contrasting the data, perhaps grouping age ranges with similar trends together.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the data in a generally understandable manner, but the organization could be improved. The 'overall' statement is a good start, but the subsequent paragraphing and flow of information could be more cohesive. Consider grouping age ranges with similar trends together or using clearer transitions between them. For example, you could discuss the age groups where women's participation is higher and then transition to those where men's participation is closer or higher. Also, avoid starting multiple sentences with 'The range of...' as it becomes repetitive.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Using synonyms for 'percentage,' 'proportion,' and 'accounted for' would enhance the report. For instance, instead of 'accounted for,' consider using 'represented,' 'constituted,' or 'comprised.' Also, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to trends and comparisons, such as 'dominated,' 'exceeded,' 'narrowly trailed,' etc. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'percentage of women accounted' should be 'percentage of women accounts'). Also, ensure correct use of articles (e.g., 'the highest proportion' is generally correct, but context matters). Sentence structure can also be improved for better flow and accuracy. Proofread carefully to catch these errors.

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