Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of New Zealander men and women who did regular physical activity in 2010 across different age groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage of New Zealander men and women who did regular physical activity in 2010 across different age groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image is a bar chart titled 'Percentage of New Zealander men and women who engaged in regular physical activity: 2010', with a y-axis for 'Percentage (%)' from 0 to 60 and an x-axis for 'Age group'. For the 14 to 23 age group, the percentage for men was 51.7% and for women was 46.9%. For the 24 to 33 age group, men were at 42.1% and women at 49.2%. For the 34 to 43 age group, men were 38.8% and women 53.1%. In the 44 to 53 group, men were 42.9% and women 54.2%. For the 54 to 63 group, men were 44.7% and women 52.0%. In the 64 and above group, men were 47.2% and women were 48.9%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrates the proportions of New Zealand men and women across six age groups who engaged in regular physical exercise in 2010.

Overall, women who did physical activity recorded higher percentages in most age groups than men, except for the 14 to 23 age group. Furthermore, women who did gymnastics showed the largest proportions in 44 to 53 age group, as opposed to men in the age group 14 to 23

For both men and women, the lowest percentage of engaged physical activities stood in the age group of 64 and above, with a minor difference, which accounted for 47.2% and 48.1%, respectively. In the 34 to 43 age group, women’s physical exercise rate was about 54.2%, nearly double that of men, at 38.8%. The workouts rate done by men show the most significant proportions in the age group of 14 to 23, at 51.7% which was higher than women, about 46.9%.

Looking at women, who did the most workouts in the age of 44 to 53, with amounted to 54.2% compared to the lowest percentage for exercise rate in men, at 42.9%. Following this, women in the age of 54 to 63 engaged in regular activity, which accounted to 52.8%, while men’s rate show 55.7%. In the age of 24 to 33, exercise rate records below 50% for both women and men, with 49.2% for women and 43.1% for men.

Word Count: 233

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 9

group: 6

physical: 4

exercise: 4

proportions: 3

engaged: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing an overview and comparing the main trends across age groups. It correctly identifies that women generally had higher participation rates than men, except in the youngest age group. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., the lowest percentage for both genders is stated as 64 and above, but men's lowest is actually in the 34-43 group; some figures are misreported). Additionally, the phrase 'women who did gymnastics' is inappropriate as the chart refers to physical activity in general. The report could be improved by ensuring all data points are accurate and by avoiding irrelevant or imprecise terminology.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and an overview, but the organization of details could be improved. The overview is somewhat unclear and does not fully summarize the main trends. The body paragraphs present data in a somewhat random order, and the progression of ideas is not always logical. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes inaccurately (e.g., 'as opposed to' and 'Furthermore'), and there are some abrupt shifts between age groups. To improve, ensure that the overview clearly highlights the main trends and that the body paragraphs are organized logically, for example, by grouping similar patterns or comparing men and women systematically.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to the task, such as 'proportions', 'engaged in regular physical exercise', and 'recorded higher percentages'. There is some attempt at paraphrasing and using synonyms (e.g., 'workouts', 'exercise rate'). However, there are instances of awkward or inaccurate word choices (e.g., 'gymnastics' instead of 'physical activity', 'workouts rate done by men', 'with amounted to'). The phrasing is sometimes unnatural and not always precise. To improve, focus on using more precise and natural collocations, and avoid informal or inaccurate terms. Also, ensure that the language is consistently formal and academic. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'the lowest percentage of engaged physical activities stood' is grammatically incorrect, and 'which accounted to' should be 'which accounted for'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'men's rate show') and article usage. Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons or lack clarity. To improve, review grammar rules for prepositions, verb forms, and subject-verb agreement. Also, practice writing more varied sentence structures with accurate grammar.

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