Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the three main causes of land damage in four different areas. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the three main causes of land damage in four different areas. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays land damage causes in four regions measured in million hectares; Africa: tree-cutting 450, breeding 300, farming 200; Asia: tree-cutting 350, breeding 350, farming 200; Australia: tree-cutting 150, breeding 130, farming 110; Europe: tree-cutting 50, breeding 80, farming 80.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the three main reasons for environment damage in the four continents Africa, Asia, Australia and Europe.

It can be seen immediately that Asia and Anfrica have an extraordinary high amount of land devastation compared to Australia and Europe. With approximately a more than 1200 million hectares, Asia has the largest destroyed landscapes of all four continents. All free main sectors, including tree-cutting, breeding and farming, which cause this damage have roughly the same proportion of damaged hectors. Besides Asia, Africa is the continent with the second highest score of land damage. Overall there is round about 1150 million devasted hector of land in Africa. One of the main reasons for this high number is the breeding, which has a share of approximately 500 million hectares. However the sectores tree-cutting and farming, with in total 660 million hectares, are significant problems as well.

On the other hand there stand Australia and Europe, those continents have compared to the other ones less damaged land. Australia has an overall devastation of 400 million hectares, whereas Europe has only roughly 300 million. Moreover it should be mentioned that in both regions, the highest harm is due to breeding.

Word Count: 198

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 6

australia: 4

hectares: 4

damage: 3

continents: 3

africa: 3

europe: 3

breeding: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons between the four regions. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the total land devastation in Asia and Africa). Also, the final sentence is inaccurate. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and pay close attention to the details in the visual.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction is clear, but the subsequent paragraphs lack a strong sense of connection. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, transition words and phrases could be used to signal shifts in focus or to draw comparisons more explicitly. The organization of information could be more logical. For example, grouping continents based on similar trends or damage levels could enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, 'extraordinary high amount of land devastation' could be rephrased for greater impact and accuracy. There are also some instances of unnatural phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more precise language will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in article usage. For example, 'Anfrica' should be 'Africa,' and 'devasted hector' should be 'devastated hectares.' These errors detract from the overall clarity and credibility of the report. Focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully to minimize errors. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that your sentences are grammatically sound.

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