Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart illustrates the number of immigrants to different regions of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart illustrates the number of immigrants to different regions of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a bar chart depicting immigrant numbers to Australia's regions for two years, 1987 and 1997. In 1987, Oceania had 10 immigrants, Europe 25, Middle & East Africa 1, North/South America approximately 5, Asia 15, and Rest of Asia 3. By 1997, figures adjusted to Oceania 10, Europe 15, Middle & East Africa slightly above 5, North/South America roughly 7, Asia approximately 25, and Rest of Asia at 6 immigrants.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart represents the number of immigrants of Australia from six different areas-Oceania, Europe, Middle & East Africa, North/ South America, Asia and Rest of Asia-over a decade from 1987 to 1997. Overall, where all six continents saw a general up and down trend, Europe immigrants remained the most popular visitors came Australia.

In 1987 to 1997, Europe immmigrants represent the largest group at approximately 55 personels which showed as the peak number over a decade. Other than that, Rest of Asia always in the lowest position in this range of year with approximately 11 personels. Besides of that, these two regions are joining North/ South America for the down trend. Meanwhile-Oceania, Middle & East Africa and Asia showed as growth in these 10 years period.

In conclussion the number of immigrants came to australia in 1987 is higher with total value around 102 people than 1997 with more or less 98 people

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 3

immigrants: 3

europe: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but includes inaccuracies and some misinterpretations of the data. The organization is present but could be improved for clarity. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and ensuring that all comparisons are supported by the chart. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The 'Overall' statement is vague, and the subsequent paragraphs jump between details without a clear structure. The conclusion introduces new information (total immigrant numbers) without proper context. To improve, focus on creating a clear thesis statement, organizing paragraphs around specific trends or comparisons, and ensuring the conclusion summarizes the main points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and sometimes inaccurate ('personels,' 'came Australia'). There's a lack of precise language to describe the data effectively. To enhance lexical resource, use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and quantities. Focus on using accurate and specific terms to describe the data presented in the bar chart.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, practicing sentence construction, and proofreading carefully for errors. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct mistakes.

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