Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart illustrates the number of immigrants to different regions of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart illustrates the number of immigrants to different regions of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a bar chart depicting immigrant numbers to Australia's regions for two years, 1987 and 1997. In 1987, Oceania had 10 immigrants, Europe 25, Middle & East Africa 1, North/South America approximately 5, Asia 15, and Rest of Asia 3. By 1997, figures adjusted to Oceania 10, Europe 15, Middle & East Africa slightly above 5, North/South America roughly 7, Asia approximately 25, and Rest of Asia at 6 immigrants.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart provides information about the number of immigrants for six regions of Australia during the years 1987 and 1997. The figures are presented in numbers of immigrants.

Overall, it can be observed that Europe had the highest figures in both years, whereas Rest of Asia accounted for the smallest number of immigrants throughout the period,In general, the chart shows noticeable changes of some regions, while others remained relatively stable.

In terms of details, Europe stood at approximately 30,000 immigrants in 1987 initially before decreasing slightly to around 25,000 in 1997. This figure was higher than Asia which recorded around 15,000 in 1987, before rising to about 25,000 in 1997. Similarly, North and South America showed a decline from 25,000 in 1987 to roughly 15,000 immigrants in 1997.

In contrast, the number of immigrants in Oceania experienced a significant increase from 15,000 to 20,000 in 1997. Meanwhile Middle East and Africa remained almost stable at around 6,000-7,000, while the Rest of Asia recorded the lowest numbers at approximately 5,000 in both years.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

immigrants: 5

number: 3

years: 3

around: 3

25000: 3

15000: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report states that Europe stood at approximately 30,000 immigrants in 1987, but the visual description states that Europe had 25,000 immigrants in 1987. Similarly, North and South America did not show a decline from 25,000 in 1987 to roughly 15,000 immigrants in 1997. Oceania also did not experience a significant increase from 15,000 to 20,000 in 1997. These inaccuracies detract from the task achievement. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and consistent with the visual description.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents a clear overview and identifies key trends. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping regions with similar trends together and using more explicit linking words to connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, you could start a new paragraph to discuss regions that experienced increases in immigration, contrasting them with those that saw decreases.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the data. However, there's room to enhance the range and precision of word choices. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'number of immigrants,' try synonyms like 'immigration figures,' 'influx of migrants,' or 'immigrant population.' Also, consider using more specific adjectives and adverbs to describe the changes, such as 'a sharp increase' or 'a marginal decline.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Proofreading carefully for these errors can significantly improve the report's grammatical accuracy. For example, 'Europe stood at approximately 30,000 immigrants in 1987 initially before decreasing slightly to around 25,000 in 1997' could be revised for better clarity and grammatical correctness.

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