Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 2005, 2010, 2015.

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The image presents a bar chart showing percentages of school children learning four musical instruments. In 2005: violin 5%, guitar 10%, piano 12%, drums 2%. In 2010: violin 12%, guitar 15%, piano 8%, drums 5%. In 2015: violin 15%, guitar 20%, piano 12%, drums 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the proportion of children playing four individual instruments (violin, guitar, piano and drums) in 2005, 2010 and 2015.

Overall, the guitar is the most popular instrument each year and the piano is the second most popular. The popularity of the guitar and the piano also dramatically increases with time while the popularity of the drums and the violin stays quite the same and at much lower level.

In 2005 just above 10% of students play the guitar and 10% play the piano. The guitar has almost doubled it’s popularity (20%) in 2010 and reaches it’s peak (27%) in 2015. There is similar kind of increase in the popularity of the piano reaching about 16% in 2010 and 25% in 2015.

The drums is the least popular instrument in 2005 and 2010 with only 6% of students playing it whereas about 8 % of students play the violin aforementioned years. In 2015 the drums reach 8% and become more popular than the violin which drops to 7%.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

guitar: 5

piano: 5

popular: 4

popularity: 4

drums: 3

violin: 3

students: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key data points from the bar chart. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., guitar reaching 27% in 2015, piano popularity). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider a more structured approach to comparing and contrasting the instruments across the years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping information by instrument or by year to enhance coherence. Transitions between paragraphs could also be smoother to guide the reader more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for describing the data, but there's room for more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'popularity,' try synonyms like 'prevalence,' 'commonality,' or 'incidence.' Also, aim for more specific descriptors of the changes observed, such as 'increased significantly' or 'remained relatively stable.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Review and correct these errors to improve the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing. For example, 'doubled it's popularity' should be 'doubled its popularity.'

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