Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart shows the number of homes, each worth 5 million dollars or more, sold in eight cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart shows the number of homes, each worth 5 million dollars or more, sold in eight cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a horizontal bar chart detailing the number of homes sold for $5 million or more in eight cities for the years 2009 and 2014. In 2009, the figures were: Dubai 12, Singapore 107, Sydney 151, Los Angeles 178, Miami 256, Hong Kong 388, New York 476, and London 523. In 2014, the figures were: Dubai 46, Singapore 74, Sydney 258, Los Angeles 214, Miami 312, Hong Kong 596, New York 796, and London 1638.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph illustrates the amount of apartments, each worth 5 million dollars or more, which has been sold in eight different cities during the year 2009 and 2014.

Overall, after analyzing the bar chart, it can be clearly seen that Singapore is the only city in which sale of homes has been reduced. However, London stayed on the top of chart by buying numerous houses.

To begin with, sales of houses in dubai was 12 million while it increased to 46 million in second year. However, Singapore experienced a fall in purchasing of homes and decrease by 33 million houses in 2014. Moreover, Sydney displayed a significant rise in apartments from 151 to 258 million during year 2009 and 2014 respectively. Furthermore, Los Angeles purchased 178 million houses in 2009 and increased to 214 million in next given year.

Additionally, Miami illustrated a rose from 256 million to 312 million during the given time period. Moving to next, homes sold in Hong Kong rise from 388 to 596 million during 2014. Further, New York houses rose by 320 million as it was 476 million in 2009 and then 796 million in 2014. Lastly, in London, the sale of apartments was 523 million during 2009 and in 2014, it showed a significant increase by reaching on the peak of chart and purchased 1638 million homes.

Word Count: 225

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 15

during: 5

homes: 4

houses: 4

apartments: 3

chart: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by presenting the main trends and making comparisons between the two years. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., referring to the number of homes as 'million' instead of just the count, and stating 'Dubai was 12 million' instead of '12 homes'). Additionally, some phrasing is awkward or informal (e.g., 'buying numerous houses', 'illustrated a rose'). To improve, ensure precise data representation and use more formal, academic language. Also, consider grouping cities with similar trends for a more organized comparison.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and inconsistent use of cohesive devices. For example, the phrase 'after analyzing the bar chart' is unnecessary and breaks the flow. Additionally, the use of 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'Additionally' is repetitive and not always logically connected. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Also, avoid informal expressions like 'To begin with' and 'Moving to next'.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'illustrates', 'significant rise', and 'peak'. However, there are several inaccuracies and awkward choices. For instance, 'amount of apartments' should be 'number of apartments', and 'sale of homes has been reduced' is awkward. Also, 'buying numerous houses' is not precise; it should be 'sales of homes'. The report also incorrectly uses 'million' to refer to the number of homes, which is a lexical error. To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, and ensure that terms like 'million' are used correctly to describe quantities.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'which has been sold' should be 'which were sold', and 'during the year 2009 and 2014' should be 'between 2009 and 2014'. There are also subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'sales of houses in dubai was' should be 'were'. Additionally, the report uses incorrect verb forms like 'illustrated a rose' instead of 'showed a rise'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization (e.g., 'dubai'). To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures accurately, and proofread for subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation.

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