Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays a bar graph illustrating the percentage of male smokers across various regions for the years 2000 and 2015. World percentages show around 42% in 2000 and 35% in 2015. Armenia shows approximately 73% in 2000 and 58% in 2015. Egypt has about 45% in 2000 and 38% in 2015. Lebanon depicts close to 47% in 2000 and 42% in 2015. Bangladesh records around 58% in 2000 and 45% in 2015. Cuba shows approximately 60% in 2000 and 50% in 2015. Mexico displays about 28% in 2000 and 22% in 2015. Australia records roughly 28% in 2000 and 18% in 2015.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of grown man smokers in the world on average and in seven different countries: Armenia, Egypt, Lebanon, Bangladesh, Cuba, Mexico and Australia in 2000 and 2015.

Overall, the biggest percentage of adult male smokers was in Armenia, whereas the smallest was in Australia. Also, even though the global trend has seen a clear decrease in smoking between men from 2000 and 2015, Arabic countries, such as Egypt and Lebanon, experienced a slight growth.

In 2000 Bangladesh was second in terms of percentage of male smokers among countries the data is given on, having over 60%. However, over the period of 15 years this number fell dramatically, leading to Bangladesh being at less than 40% in 2015.

In contrast to global tendency, the share of smokers in Egypt and Lebanon grew by around 17% and by approximately 13% accordingly. The country, which percentage remained almost constant during 15 years is Cuba, only dropping by few percentage points.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 5

smokers: 4

egypt: 3

lebanon: 3

bangladesh: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, such as the claim of growth in Egypt and Lebanon, which actually experienced a decrease. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide more specific details, including numerical values, to support your observations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The second paragraph provides a good overview, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. Grouping countries with similar trends together would enhance coherence. For example, discussing countries with decreasing smoking rates in one paragraph and those with increasing or stable rates in another would improve the flow. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be more sophisticated to further link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the data. However, there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the description. For example, instead of 'biggest percentage,' consider using 'highest percentage.' The phrase 'Arabic countries' is not entirely accurate as Bangladesh and Cuba are also included. Using more specific regional or economic groupings could be more appropriate. Overall, the vocabulary is adequate, but refining word choices would elevate the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'grown man smokers' should be 'adult male smokers.' The sentence 'even though the global trend has seen a clear decrease in smoking between men from 2000 and 2015, Arabic countries, such as Egypt and Lebanon, experienced a slight growth' is grammatically awkward and could be rephrased for better clarity. Also, 'In contrast to global tendency' should be 'In contrast to the global trend'. The statement about Egypt and Lebanon growing by 17% and 13% is inaccurate based on the provided data. Proofreading carefully for grammatical errors and ensuring accuracy in data representation is crucial.

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