Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart shows the percentage of drug company's total sale, per region, from 2002 to 2006.

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The image is a bar chart displaying drug company's total sales percentages, per region, 2002-2006; 2002: Asia 12%, Europe & Africa 44%, North America 33%, South America 11%; 2003: Asia 10%, Europe & Africa 45%, North America 28%, South America 7%; 2004: Asia 10%, Europe & Africa 48%, North America 21%, South America 6%; 2005: Asia 24%, Europe & Africa 44%, North America 21%, South America 11%; 2006: Asia 24%, Europe & Africa 40%, North America 25%, South America 11%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart illustrates how much drug was sold totallly in four regions including Asia, European and Africa, North America, South America measured in percentages, over the period from 2002 to 2006.

Overall, European and Africa showed higher number of sales during the all period. Moreover, while the points of North America and South America experienced a decrease. In addition, Asia rose steadily.

Looking at the details, in 2002 the European and Africa were by far the most popular out of other regions, with 44 percentages sold by company. North America, meanwhile, were merchandised in much less quantities (33 percentage). Over the subsequent 4 years, the sales of drug in two territories showed a slight fluctuation, with European and Africa having to about 40 percentages and North America falling to just above 19 percetages.

Asia and South America, on the other hand, experienced trends that were almost opposite of each other. While Asia’s figure climbed slightly, beginning at 12 percentages in 2002 reaching it’s highest propotion at 24 in 2005 then dropping to 22 percentages in 2006. Whereas, South America recorded the lowest figure standing at 11 percentages in 2002 then fluctuating during the given years and stopping at point 12 percentages in 2006.

Word Count: 205

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

america: 8

percentages: 7

european: 4

africa: 4

north: 4

south: 4

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and provides a description of the data for all regions. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data reporting (e.g., stating North America fell to 19% when the data suggests 21-25%, and misrepresenting the South America trend) and some grammatical issues that affect clarity. To improve, ensure that the trends described (such as 'rising steadily') accurately reflect the fluctuations shown in the data, and pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of percentage terminology.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'Moreover', 'In addition', 'On the other hand'), but they are often used incorrectly or result in sentence fragments. For example, 'Moreover, while the points of North America and South America experienced a decrease' is an incomplete thought. Additionally, using 'Whereas' at the start of a standalone sentence is grammatically incorrect in this context. To improve, ensure that subordinating conjunctions like 'while' and 'whereas' are used to connect two clauses within a single sentence rather than starting a new sentence with them.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'illustrated', 'subsequent', 'fluctuation'), but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'how much drug was sold totally' is awkward, and 'merchandised in much less quantities' is not the appropriate way to describe sales percentages. Furthermore, the term 'percentages' is used incorrectly as a plural noun in many places (e.g., '44 percentages'); it should be '44 percent' or 'a figure of 44%'. Aim for more natural academic collocations such as 'accounted for', 'represented', or 'constituted'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that impact readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'North America, meanwhile, were'), incorrect use of articles, and punctuation errors. The sentence structure is often fragmented, particularly in the overview and the final paragraph. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a main verb. Pay close attention to the distinction between 'percent' (the value) and 'percentage' (the concept).

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