Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates, the information by percentage of school student which are learning to play four diffrent kind of musical instruments between 2005 and 2015.

However, in 2005 children were focused more on learning guitar rather then drum that is 12%, somehow, they were also taking part in learning piano, thats why piano is 10%. In comparison, between 2005 and 2010 children were intrest was raised in 2010. In contrast, percentage of guitar was 20%, whereas, piano was 18%, drum was 6% and violin was 8% .

While, during the time period of 2005 and 2015, its is clear that every year students ability and passion in learning skills of musical instruments increased. In 2015, children were more focused on guitar and the percentage of learning guitar was above all the years, that is 28%. Although, they were also learning piano more then drum and violin. In summary, over the years children intrest were increased.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

learning: 6

children: 4

guitar: 4

piano: 4

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but includes some inaccurate information and lacks detail. To improve, focus on providing specific data points and comparisons directly from the chart. Organize the information more clearly, perhaps by instrument or time period, and ensure accurate reporting of percentages. Also, avoid generalizations not supported by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some attempt to organize the information, but the flow of ideas is not always clear. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the connections between the trends in different instruments are not explicitly stated. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and lacks precision. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'focused more on learning guitar'). Expanding the range of vocabulary related to trends and comparisons would improve the report. For example, instead of 'intrest was raised,' consider using 'interest increased' or 'there was a growing interest.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'children were focused more on learning guitar rather then drum' contains errors. Aim for more accurate and varied sentence structures. Proofreading carefully for grammatical errors is essential.

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