Bar Chart

Band 7+: The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of school children learning to play a range of different musical instruments, namely piano, drums, guitar and violin in 2005, 2010 and 2015.

Overall, piano and guitar were consistently favored to learn by school children throughout the years while the opposite was true for drum and violin, which were the least preferred instruments during the 10-year period.

In 2005, the percentage of children who chose to play guitar and piano was nearly the same, at approximately 10%, standing at the highest position among four instruments, followed by violin, which was at about 7%. Drum had the lowest percentage of children learning to play, at nearly 6%.

In the next 10 years, guitar experienced a significant increase of nearly 10% in 2010 and continued to grow to approximately 27% in 2015. The similar trend was also seen in that of piano, the percentage of piano learners grew considerably from 17% in 2010 to 25% in 2015. In 2010, the percentage of children who chose to learn drum and violin remained unchanged from 2005, at 6% and 7% respectively. However, after 5 years, the figure for drum surpassed that of violin to 8%, making violin the least favorable instrument among the four instruments, at 6%.

Word Count: 210

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

violin: 6

percentage: 5

children: 5

piano: 5

instruments: 4

guitar: 4

years: 3

nearly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the key trends and provides relevant details from the bar chart. The overview is clear, and the body paragraphs offer sufficient supporting information. To further enhance the response, consider including more specific data points and comparisons to strengthen the analysis. Also, ensure precise language and avoid slight inaccuracies in data reporting.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The overall structure, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs, is effective. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to the flow of the report. To further enhance coherence, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas, such as synonyms or more explicit connecting words. Also, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on a single aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. Terms like 'consistently favored,' 'significant increase,' and 'least preferred' are used effectively. To further improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and comparisons, and ensure consistent precision in word choice throughout the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are only minor grammatical errors. To improve further, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and the accurate use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully can help eliminate these minor errors.

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