Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar charts illustrate the difference of popularity several musician instruments among the children during the years.

We can analyze that guitar is the most popular instrument during the years and only piano has slightly low popularity while another two instruments don’t use a lot in compare to leaders.

In 2005 around 15% of minors have chosen guitar and just lower take piano only 10%.In 2 times lower percentage take drums and about 7% violin.In 2010 children decided to choose only leaders of the 2005 chart and popularity of this two instruments increased almost in 2 times while another two stay on the same place.The last year became a year of guitar,27% of children taked courses on it,slightly down also a piano with around 25%.Drums make a little increase and violin became unpopular in compare to another instruments.

Overall,mostly minors take lessons on the guitar and piano when another two instruments don’t use a popularity.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

popularity: 4

instruments: 4

piano: 4

another: 4

children: 3

guitar: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features and makes some comparisons, but it includes some inaccuracies and lacks detail. To improve, focus on providing more specific data and ensuring accuracy in the numbers presented. Also, try to organize the information more clearly, perhaps by dedicating a paragraph to each key trend or comparison.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the main trends and comparisons. Consider structuring the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific trends or comparisons, and a concise conclusion. Use cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas and sentences smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is overuse of simple words and phrases, and limited use of more sophisticated vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons. Expand your vocabulary related to describing data, such as 'increased,' 'decreased,' 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' 'significant,' 'marginal,' etc. Avoid informal language and use more formal and academic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede clarity and understanding. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your report.

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