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Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020.

Image for topic: The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020.
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The image is a bar chart representing the percentage of the Canadian workforce in five industries in 1850 and 2020. In 1850, Manufacturing had 36%, Services 9%, Agriculture/Fishing 33%, Construction 1%, and Energy/Water 5%. In 2020, Manufacturing decreased to 8%, Services increased to 81%, Agriculture/Fishing fell to 1%, Construction rose to 5%, and Energy/Water grew to 3%. The chart shows that there has been a significant shift from Manufacturing and Agriculture/Fishing towards Services over the 170-year span, with modest growth in Construction and Energy/Water industries.
Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.
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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Canadian workers in five major industries in 1850 and 2020

Overall, there are significant declines in percentages of Canadian workers in Manufacturing and Agricultrure industries. However, this percentage increased rapidly in Services industry during this time period.

In 1850, Canadian manpower in Manufacturing was 36%. Nevertheless by 2020 this rate dropped to 9%. Similarly, agriculture sector also showed same dramatic fall from 22% in 1850 to only 1% in 2020. Energy or Water sector showed only a few percentage of difference with 2% of decline in given time period. These trends show that Canadian’s working population is no more interested in traditional industries.

Conversely, services sector saw a remarkable increase in Share of canadian workforce. In 1850 only 33% of their total manpower was consisted of Canadian people but by 2020 this rate hit 81%. Construction industry was never one of the majors. It steadly increased from 5% in 1850 to 8% in 2020.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
canadian: 5
percentage: 3
sector: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6
The report provides a good overview of the main trends in the data, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The report does not mention the specific percentage changes for each industry, which would have been helpful. The report also makes some minor errors in the data, such as stating that the percentage of workers in agriculture fell from 22% to 1% when it actually fell from 33% to 1%.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5
The report is generally well-organized, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. The report jumps around between different industries and time periods, making it difficult to follow the main points. The report also uses some awkward phrasing and sentence structures.

Lexical Resource

5.5
The report uses a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of inaccurate or inappropriate word choice. The report also uses some repetitive language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5
The report contains numerous grammatical errors, which significantly affect coherence and cohesion. The report also uses some incorrect punctuation.

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