Bar Chart

Band 8+: The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instruments in 2005, 2010, 2015.

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The image depicts a bar chart with percentages of school children learning musical instruments in the years 2005, 2010, 2015: 2005 - Piano: 10%, Drums: 5%, Guitar: 12%, Violin: 6%; 2010 - Piano: 12%, Drums: 8%, Guitar: 15%, Violin: 5%; 2015 - Piano: 30%, Drums: 10%, Guitar: 35%, Violin: 7%.

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The bar chart gives information about the percentage of children learning to play musical instruments including guitar, piano, drums and violin.

Overall, while the proportion of students choosing both guitar and piano increased, the figures for the other two instruments followed a growth trend. In addition,guitar maintained the most popular musical instrument in this school throughout the period.

At the start of the period, in 2005, the percentage of children choosing guitar was higher than the figure for piano, at around 13% and 10% respectively. Moreover, this school recorded roughly 6% of students attending drum courses, which was 2% lower than that for violin, at 8%.

In 2015,the percentage of children choosing guitar and piano witnessed a significant upward trend, reaching at 27% and around 25% respectively, with guitar remaining the first rank throughout the period. In the first five years, drums and violin remained stable at their initial levels.However, from 2010 to 2015, while the bar of drums experienced a slight increase to nearly 7%, the figure for violin minimally fell to approximately 6%, making it become the least favourite instrument.

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

guitar: 5

piano: 4

percentage: 3

children: 3

drums: 3

choosing: 3

violin: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report appropriately addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the instruments across the years. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., guitar at 13% instead of 12%, drums at 6% instead of 5%, violin at 8% instead of 6%, and the 2015 figures are not fully accurate). Additionally, the overview mentions a 'growth trend' for all instruments, but the data shows a decline for violin, which is a slight inconsistency. To improve, ensure that the data cited matches the chart more closely and that the overview accurately reflects the main trends. Also, avoid minor grammatical errors like missing spaces after commas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized with a clear overall trend and logical grouping of data. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, though there are minor lapses in referencing (e.g., 'this school' could be more precise) and a slight awkwardness in the transition between the first and second paragraphs. Paragraphing is managed well, but the second paragraph could be more clearly separated from the first to enhance flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, with good use of synonyms (e.g., 'proportion', 'figure', 'percentage') and descriptive phrases (e.g., 'significant upward trend', 'remained stable'). There is a minor issue with the phrase 'witnessed a significant upward trend' which is slightly informal for academic writing, and 'reaching at' is a minor collocation error. Overall, the lexical range is strong and conveys the data effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including comparative forms and complex sentences. There are a few minor errors, such as 'reaching at' (should be 'reaching') and a missing space after 'addition,'. These are infrequent and do not impede understanding. The overall accuracy is high, with correct use of tenses and punctuation throughout.

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