Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chat provides information about the number of tourist from Indonesia visited six different countries

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Image for topic: The bar chat provides information about the number of tourist from Indonesia visited six different countries

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The image shows a bar graph titled "Destinations of holiday makers from Indonesia," with y-axis values from 0 to 1,200,000 in increments of 200,000 and x-axis listing destinations: Australia, Someland, Korea, Japan, Pakistan, Sri Lanka; numerical data indicates Australia: 700,000, Someland: 1,100,000, Korea: 800,000, Japan: 600,000, Pakistan: 400,000, Sri Lanka: 300,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the number of tourists from Indonesia who visited six different countries, namely Australia, Someland, Korea, Japan, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka.

Overall, Someland was the most popular destination among Indonesian travelers, while Pakistan attracted the fewest visitors. In general, the number of Indonesian tourists varied considerably across the six destinations.

In detail, Someland recorded the highest number of Indonesian tourists, reaching around 1 million visitors. Japan was the second most visited country, with approximately 800,000 tourists. Australia also received a significant number of visitors, about 700,000, followed by Korea with around 600,000.

On the other hand, relatively fewer Indonesians traveled to Sri Lanka and Pakistan. Sri Lanka attracted about 450,000 tourists, whereas Pakistan was the least popular destination, receiving only around 350,000 visitors.

Word Count: 126

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourists: 5

number: 4

pakistan: 4

visitors: 4

someland: 3

indonesian: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report states that Japan was the second most visited country with approximately 800,000 tourists, but the visual description indicates that Korea had 800,000 visitors, while Japan had 600,000. Similarly, the numbers for Sri Lanka and Pakistan are also inaccurate. To improve, ensure that the data presented in the report accurately reflects the information in the bar chart. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. Transitions are present but could be more varied to enhance the flow. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. However, there's room to incorporate more sophisticated or precise language to describe the data. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'number of tourists,' try synonyms like 'volume of visitors' or 'influx of travelers.' Also, the accuracy of the numbers is off, please make sure the numbers are accurate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits excellent grammatical control with a variety of sentence structures used accurately. There are virtually no grammatical errors, demonstrating a strong command of the English language.

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