Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chats give information about the salaries and university fees of students from three universities in two spheres-Law and Business.

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Image for topic: The bar chats give information about the salaries and university fees of students from three universities in two spheres-Law and Business.

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The image compares average salaries and university fees of students from three universities in Law and Business, detailing numerical values in thousands of dollars. In Law: University A shows a salary of 35 and a fee of 40; University B displays both salary and fee at 40; University C has a salary of 50 and a fee of 35. In Business: University A indicates a salary of 40 and a fee of 50; University B presents both salary and fee at 50; University C reveals a salary of 55 and a fee of 60.

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The bar charts show the average income and expenditure of students studying Law and Business in 3 different universities of A, B and C. Overall, we can observe that the average expenses nearly always outweigh the income of students in both fields of the 3 universities and that institute A is consistently the university which has the least amount of money circulating.

Scholars studying law in University A basically have a 0 net profit, with their salary and their pay being equal at 40.000 dollars. On the other hand, we see a different story in the other 2 universities, with there being a whopping 20.000 dollar difference between the average 40.000 dollars salary and 60.000 dollars going out as payment for students in University B and an estimated 55.000 dollars worth of expenses for students in University C. Interestingly, the average salary for someone studying in University A is equal to someone studying in Institute B. Meanwhile, an average University C student’s income comes out to only about 35.000 dollars.

Business students experience the exact opposite, however. University A has the lowest average salary of about 30.000 dollars yet have to dish out 40.000 dollars annually. Meanwhile, the average University B salary is equal to that of University C’s, with the only difference there being a 10.000 dollar margin in expenditure between the 2 institutes; University B’s average payout being 50.000 dollars yearly while a University C student has to pay 60.000 dollars.

Word Count: 243

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

university: 11

average: 8

dollars: 8

students: 5

salary: 5

studying: 4

being: 4

income: 3

universities: 3

equal: 3

40000: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by comparing salaries and fees across universities and fields. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., Law University A salary and fee are both 40,000, but the visual description states salary 35,000 and fee 40,000; Law University B salary and fee are both 40,000, but the report mentions a 20,000 difference; Law University C salary is 50,000 and fee 35,000, but the report states 35,000 salary and 60,000 expenses). The report also misinterprets the data for Business students, stating the opposite trend, which is not supported by the visual description. The overall structure is clear, but the inaccuracies in key areas detract from task achievement. To improve, ensure data is accurately reported and avoid making unsupported generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and body paragraphs for each field. However, the flow could be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, the transition from Law to Business could be smoother. Additionally, the final paragraph could be better connected to the overall trend mentioned in the introduction. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and mostly accurate, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'income and expenditure', 'net profit', 'circulating'). However, there are instances of informal or imprecise language (e.g., 'whopping', 'dish out', 'basically') that could be replaced with more formal academic terms. Additionally, some phrases are repetitive (e.g., 'average salary' used multiple times). Try to vary your word choice and use more sophisticated vocabulary to achieve a higher band score. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and some varied punctuation. However, there are a few errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'with there being a whopping 20.000 dollar difference' is grammatically awkward; consider rephrasing to 'with a significant difference of $20,000'. Also, ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles (e.g., 'the average expenses' should be 'average expenses'). Proofreading for these minor issues will improve accuracy.

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