Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below gives information about internet use by men and women in the UK in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information about internet use by men and women in the UK in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features a grouped bar chart titled "What men and women used the Internet for in the UK, 2013" with a vertical axis labeled "Percentage" ranging from 0% to 90% at 10% intervals, comparing data for "Men" and "Women" across five activities: "Sending and receiving email" at 80% for men and 81% for women, "Social networking" at 78% for men and 79% for women, "Banking" at 57% for men and 50% for women, "Online shopping" at 66% for men and 73% for women, and "Playing video games" at 66% for men and 80% for women.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph compares internet use by males and females in the United Kingdom in 2013.

From an overall perspective, it is apparent that women had a higher percentage in 2013. Of particular note, is Banking and online shopping were smaller percentages than other internet.

Looking at the types of internet that grew, sending and receiving email had the highest percentage of internet, with males at 80% and females at 81% in 2013. Social networking also had a high percentage of the internet, from 78% for males to 79% for females. The smallest rise was in the three. Banking went up only a little, with females at 50% and men at 57%.

In contrast, two types of work became smaller. Online shopping fell from 66% for men to 73% for women in the United Kingdom. Playing video games took second place on the internet. Sending and receiving email had a maximum of 80% to 81%, and playing video games had 66% to 80% fewer. Sending and receiving email was still a higher percentage of the internet in this year.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

internet: 6

females: 4

percentage: 4

males: 3

sending: 3

receiving: 3

email: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the main features of the chart, but it contains several inaccuracies and unclear statements. For example, it incorrectly states that online shopping 'fell' from 66% to 73%, which is actually an increase, and the phrase 'two types of work became smaller' is vague and not clearly linked to the data. Additionally, some sentences are confusing or repetitive, such as 'Sending and receiving email had a maximum of 80% to 81%, and playing video games had 66% to 80% fewer.' To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data, making clear comparisons between men and women, and ensuring each sentence is clear and directly relevant to the chart. Organize the information logically, perhaps by grouping activities with similar patterns, and avoid vague or incorrect descriptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear references and abrupt transitions. For example, phrases like 'the three' and 'two types of work' are vague, and the final paragraph repeats information without adding clarity. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct group of data. Also, use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly') more effectively to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited, with some repetition and imprecise word choices. For instance, 'internet' is used repeatedly instead of more specific terms like 'activities' or 'purposes'. Phrases like 'grew' and 'became smaller' are informal and not precise for describing data trends. To improve, use a wider range of academic vocabulary (e.g., 'accounted for', 'constituted', 'exhibited') and avoid repetition by using synonyms. Also, ensure that comparisons are expressed clearly (e.g., 'slightly higher than', 'considerably lower than'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'Of particular note, is Banking and online shopping were smaller percentages than other internet' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Also, 'Playing video games had 66% to 80% fewer' is confusing. To improve, focus on sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and clarity. Use a variety of sentence types (e.g., complex sentences with relative clauses) and proofread to eliminate errors.

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