Pie Chart

Band 5+: The chart below gives information about what nursing graduates did after finishing their course in the UK in 2009.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information about what nursing graduates did after finishing their course in the UK in 2009.

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The image details the destinations of nursing graduates in the UK for the year 2009: 84% are working in the health sector, 8% are pursuing further study, 4% are both working and studying, 2% are unemployed, and 2% fall into the other category.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This pie chart gives us a clear infromation about nursing gradutes did after finishing their course in the UK in the year 2009. By this data we can clearly say that maximum percentage of the graduates started to work in the health sector when compared with all the remaining intrests of the graduates. Working in Health sector stands out to be a 84% of choose of these students after there course.

Now coming to the next most intrested feild is working and study where 8% people in the entire graduates choose to be.We are seeing there is huge margin for difference be the people who are working in health sector when compared to this feild.Here is soming this intresting where we see the umemployed percentage is same as the percentage of the graduates who choose to study futher and all remaining chooses.

I wanna conclude this on a note stating that most graduates keen to work in the health sector feild when compared with all the graduates from 2009 in UK.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graduates: 6

health: 4

sector: 4

percentage: 3

compared: 3

working: 3

choose: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the information presented in the pie chart. However, the analysis lacks depth and specific comparisons. To improve, focus on providing more detailed comparisons between the different categories and avoid using informal language. Also, ensure that the introduction and conclusion are concise and directly relevant to the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The introduction is present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas. The conclusion is weak and doesn't effectively summarize the main points. Improve the organization by grouping related information together and using transition words to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' try using 'proportion,' 'share,' or 'segment.' Expand your vocabulary related to data analysis and trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('gradutes did'), subject-verb agreement issues ('percentage of the graduates started'), and awkward phrasing ('intrested feild'). There are also issues with sentence structure and punctuation. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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