Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

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The image depicts four categories of skilled migrants to Australia (accountant, cook, software engineer, computer programmer) from 2009 to 2012, measured in thousand workers; 2009: accountant 20, cook 12, software engineer 31, computer programmer 2; 2010: accountant 28, cook 18, software engineer 19, computer programmer 5; 2011: accountant 22, cook 17, software engineer 22, computer programmer 3; 2012: accountant 20, cook 16, software engineer 21, computer programmer 4.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the numbers of employees who were migrants to Australia from 2009 to 2012, in distinct lines of work.

Overall, while accountants dominated other careers throughout the period, computer programmers consistently attracted the lowest number of migrants. Furthermore, the statistics on accountants and computer programmers generally followed an upward trajectory which was opposite to the other fields.

In regard to accountant and software engineer, the data on accountants soared by approximately 27.5 thousands in 2010, before a plunge to just above 20 thousand people. Additionally, there was an increasing number of software engineers migrating to Australia were recruited, gradually increasing to around 22 thousands, followed by a sink of nearly 5 thousand individuals.

Moving to other jobs, it is noteworthy that the number of cooks oscillated around 17.5 thousands. Similarly, despite witnessing an identical pattern, the data on computer programmers reached its apex at 5 thousands, at the end of the period.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

thousands: 4

accountants: 3

other: 3

computer: 3

programmers: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a clear overview and addresses the main trends, such as accountants dominating and computer programmers having the lowest numbers. However, there are some inaccuracies in data interpretation (e.g., 'accountants soared by approximately 27.5 thousands' is incorrect; the actual figure is 28 thousand in 2010) and minor omissions (e.g., the specific values for 2011 and 2012 are not fully detailed). The structure is logical, but some phrasing is unclear (e.g., 'a sink of nearly 5 thousand individuals'). To improve, ensure data points are accurately described and avoid vague or confusing language. Focus on precise comparisons and clear descriptions of changes over time.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'Furthermore', 'In regard to', and 'Moving to' helps guide the reader. However, there are some lapses in coherence, such as the awkward phrasing in the second body paragraph ('the data on accountants soared... before a plunge...') which makes the sequence of events slightly confusing. Paragraphing is generally logical, but the second paragraph could be more clearly focused on one or two occupations to improve flow.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'soared', 'plunge', 'increasing', 'oscillated', 'apex') which is appropriate for the task. However, there are some inaccuracies and unnatural choices, such as 'sink' instead of 'decrease' or 'drop', and 'dominated other careers' which is slightly informal. The phrase 'the statistics on accountants and computer programmers generally followed an upward trajectory which was opposite to the other fields' is a bit wordy and could be more precise. Overall, the lexical resource is adequate but lacks the sophistication and natural control expected of a higher band.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'the data on accountants soared by approximately 27.5 thousands' should be '27.5 thousand' (no 's'), and 'an increasing number of software engineers migrating to Australia were recruited' is grammatically confused. The phrase 'followed by a sink' is ungrammatical ('sink' is not used as a noun in this context). Punctuation is generally correct, but the errors in grammar and structure are noticeable and reduce the overall accuracy.

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Band 6+: The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

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