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Band 6+: The chart below presents information on the annual revenues of three department stores in a UK city from 2001 to 2015.

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Image for topic: The chart below presents information on the annual revenues of three department stores in a UK city from 2001 to 2015.

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The image displays a line chart titled 'Annual Revenues (million pounds)' for three department stores from 2001 to 2015. The stores are Grand Mall, Owens, and J&W. Grand Mall's annual revenues for the years 2001 through 2015 were sequentially: 40, 42, 45, 48, 47, 47, 37, 30, 29, 29, 28, 29, 30, 32, and 27 million pounds. For the same period, Owens' revenues were: 30, 30, 31, 33, 31, 30, 24, 21, 21, 20, 21, 23, 22, 25, and 28 million pounds. J&W's revenues were 0 from 2001 to 2006, and then for the years 2007 through 2015 were sequentially: 25, 26, 29, 30, 31, 40, 39, 42, and 45 million pounds.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart provides information about the annual revenues of three department stores in a UK city from 2001 to 2015. Overall, J&W has the most change out of three, whereas the other two follow similar patterns with each other.

The most noticeable change in this graph is the big rise from 0 million pounds to 25 million pounds in a year, from 2006 to 2007. Until this, the annual revenue of J&W stayed 0 million pounds from 2001 to 2006. After the big increase, J&W had a constant increase from 2007 to 2015.

Another trend in the graph are Grand Mall and Owens, both having a gradual increase until 2004. Then these decrease and Grand Mall hits its lowest point , 28 million pounds in 2012, and Owens hit its lowest point in 2008. These two malls have similar trends compared to the J&W, and they declined in number of annual revenues overall from 2001 to 2015.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

j&w: 4

million: 4

pounds: 4

annual: 3

increase: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by providing an overview and highlighting key trends. It correctly identifies the significant rise of J&W and the general decline of the other two stores. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions: the lowest point for Owens is stated as 2008, but it actually occurred in 2010 (20 million), and the report does not mention the final recovery of Owens or the slight fluctuations in Grand Mall's later years. To improve, ensure all key data points are accurately reported and consider including more specific figures to support the trends described.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the organization could be improved. The second paragraph focuses on J&W, while the third paragraph attempts to cover Grand Mall and Owens, but the flow is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some transitions are abrupt (e.g., 'Another trend in the graph are...'). To improve, use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure a logical progression of ideas, perhaps by grouping the stores more systematically and using linking words like 'in contrast' or 'similarly' to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'annual revenues', 'gradual increase', 'lowest point'). However, there is limited range and some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'the most change' could be 'the most significant change', 'follow similar patterns with each other' could be 'follow similar patterns to each other'). To improve, use a wider variety of synonyms and more precise terms (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'plummeted') and avoid repetition. Also, ensure that phrases like 'big rise' are replaced with more formal alternatives such as 'sharp increase'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'J&W has the most change out of three' should be 'J&W shows the most significant change of the three', and 'Another trend in the graph are Grand Mall and Owens' should be 'Another trend in the graph is seen in Grand Mall and Owens'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation (e.g., 'lowest point , 28 million pounds' has an unnecessary space before the comma). To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, use correct punctuation, and vary sentence structures to include more complex forms (e.g., relative clauses, passive voice) while ensuring accuracy.

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