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Band 6+: The chart below shoes information about the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000

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The image presents two bar charts on the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 employed in four countries for the years 1970 and 2000. For 1970, the percentages for men and women respectively were: Belgium, 78% and 62%; USA, 86% and 78%; Japan, 76% and 56%; Indonesia, 83% and 64%. For 2000, the percentages for men and women respectively were: Belgium, 52% and 8%; USA, 78% and 42%; Japan, 52% and 48%; Indonesia, 72% and 50%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates proportion of male and female who works at 60-64 years of age in four different countries in 1970 and 2000.

In general, employment rates of older people got down in 30 years across all countries mentioned.

Looking first of all at the 1970 statistics, in all countries more than half of people of this age group were employed. In the USA and Indonesia, working men comprised four-fifths of all men population of that age group. On the other hand, working women were around 60% in all countries except The USA, which was close to rate of men.

Observing data of the begging of century, there was significant drop in female worker rates compared to past 30 years data, therefore percentage of women workforce was below half. Even, in Belgium this rate drop to roughly 10%.

At the same time, in the USA male proportion of workers remained relatively same at approximately 80%

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

countries: 4

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key features of the data, providing a general overview and some specific details. There are a few minor inaccuracies (e.g., 'begging of century') and omissions, but overall, the response is well-organized and coherent. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider adding more comparative statements to enhance the analysis.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. Consider grouping information more thematically, such as discussing each country's changes over time or comparing the changes in male and female employment rates separately. The flow between paragraphs could also be smoother with better use of transition words and topic sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'rate' or 'proportion,' try incorporating synonyms like 'percentage,' 'level,' or 'figure.' Also, consider using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to add nuance to your descriptions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these errors can significantly enhance the report's overall quality.

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Band 6+: The chart below shoes information about the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000

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The chart below shoes information about the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000

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