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Band 5+: the chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019

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The image shows two line graphs representing the changes in household ownership of electrical appliances and housework hours per week from 1920 to 2019. The first graph shows a steady increase in the percentage of households with washing machines, refrigerators, and vacuum cleaners, with washing machines reaching almost 100%, refrigerators at 80%, and vacuum cleaners at 60% by 2019. The second graph shows a decrease in the number of hours of housework per week per household, starting at around 50 hours in 1920 and decreasing to just above 10 hours by 2019.

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The given line graphs provide data on the changes in households of electrical appliances and the various number of hours dedicate doing housework in one country during 1920 to 2019.

Overall, it is clear that the three different elechical appliances shown an increasing trend by ownerships. While, there was a gradual reduce about their working hours among housekeepers.

To begin with, the usage of refrigerator was displayed the lowest point, nearly 0, in 1920 and then it reached at the peakest figure end of the period, in the year 2019. Turning to, vacuum cleaner it started to 30% and at the end of the period it reached the highest point to 100% in 2019, followed by washing machine which was the most famous among other electrical appliances, in 1920, subsequently, it started to show fluctuations, and then it rose to approximately 72%, in 2019.

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

appliances: 3

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Task Response

The report identifies the main trends but includes some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the vacuum cleaner did not reach 100% ownership. The description of the housework hours is missing. The language contains some errors. To improve, ensure all key features are accurately described and that the language is more precise and error-free. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. The introduction and overview are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, improving the flow of information. For example, use transition words like 'However,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In contrast' to show relationships between different points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('elechical' instead of 'electrical,' 'reduce' instead of 'reduction'). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary that is more specific to the context of the graph. For example, instead of 'usage,' you could use 'ownership rate' or 'percentage of households owning.' Also, avoid informal language and aim for a more academic tone.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'shown an increasing trend' should be 'showed an increasing trend' or 'has shown an increasing trend.' 'Various number of hours dedicate doing housework' is grammatically incorrect and should be rephrased. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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