Bar Chart

Band 5+: the chart below shows the average number of miles travelled in 2019 by men and women for six different purposes in a particular country.

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Image for topic: the chart below shows the average number of miles travelled in 2019 by men and women for six different purposes in a particular country.

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The image displays a bar chart showing the average number of miles traveled in 2019; for work, women approximately 30000, men 35000; shopping, women 6000, men 8000; transporting children, women 3000, men 6000; meeting friends, women 7000, men 10000; entertainment, women 4000, men 5000; day trips, women 10000, men 18000.

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Overall, both genders’ distance covered for work was the highest number among the others, followed by shopping and transporting children, whereas the day trips collected the lowest number of the average mileage.

Looking at the more detail, it is clear men’s usual distance traveled for work more than other varied intentions, for approximately 36500. Thereafter, shopping and transporting children were just approximately 26000 and 24000. The figures of meeting friends of men was around 23000, whereas entertainment purpose had over 15000. The figure for day trip comprised 10000 miles, which was the lowest number in the average distance traveled of men in 2019.

Regarding categories of women, the standard number of miles traveled for work and shopping were almost the same, for about 32000 and 30000 respectively. Carrying children and socializing with friends were higher than men, which roughly around 28000 and 25000. The amount of women who traveled for entertainment and day trips around 12,000 and covered more than 6,500 miles.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 4

traveled: 4

distance: 3

shopping: 3

children: 3

around: 3

miles: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The numbers provided in the report do not align with the values presented in the bar chart. Key points are inaccurate and inappropriate, leading to a flawed representation of the data. To improve, focus on accurately extracting and reporting the data from the chart. Pay close attention to the specific values for each category and gender. Ensure that the comparisons and trends you describe are supported by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For instance, the shift from the overview to the detailed analysis of men's travel habits is abrupt. Similarly, the transition to women's travel habits could be smoother. Consider using cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, 'varied intentions' could be replaced with a more specific term like 'other purposes'. Additionally, there are some inaccuracies in the use of vocabulary, such as 'collected the lowest number'. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on accurate usage will enhance the clarity and impact of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'men's usual distance traveled for work more than other varied intentions' is grammatically incorrect. Similarly, 'Carrying children and socializing with friends were higher than men' contains errors in comparison and subject-verb agreement. Focus on improving sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement to enhance grammatical accuracy.

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