Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the expenditure of NSW and Victoria on consumer goods in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the expenditure of NSW and Victoria on consumer goods in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image shows a bar graph of consumer expenditure in 2018, measured in Australian Dollars, separated by category and region (NSW and Victoria). The categories are: Cars, Computers, Books, Cameras, Perfume. For Cars, NSW expenditure is around 450,000 and Victoria is near 375,000. Computers show NSW at about 300,000 and Victoria at 350,000. Books have NSW at approximately 225,000 and Victoria at 200,000. Cameras show NSW at roughly 175,000 and Victoria at 225,000. Perfume has NSW at about 50,000 and Victoria at 100,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart demonstrates the total consumer expenditure of NSW and Victoria in 2018 measured in Australian dollars.

Overall, the data shows that cars recieved the highest number of consumer spent in both categories, meanwhile buyers spending on cameras had a huge differences.

In 2018, NWS consumers expenditure on cars welcomed 400 thousand dollars, while Victoria spent 5 thousand dollars more than NWS. Similarly, NWS consumers spent 300 and 150 thousand dollars on books and cameras, respectively. However, Victoria consumer expenditure on these two figures reported a big differences of 400 thousand dollars on books and 350 thousand dollars on cameras.

By contrast, NWS consumers spent more on computers than Victoria with a difference of approximately 70 thousand dollars. Additionally, NWS and Victoria consumer spent 200 and approximately 90 thousand dollars on perfume in 2018.

Word Count: 134

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

thousand: 7

dollars: 7

victoria: 5

spent: 5

consumer: 4

expenditure: 3

consumers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and some irrelevant information, which detracts from the overall task achievement. The organization is present but could be improved for clarity. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the graph and ensuring that all comparisons are factually correct. Also, ensure that the structure of your report is logical and easy to follow. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information, but the flow is disrupted by inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data presented. The overall structure is present, but the details need significant improvement to ensure clarity and logical progression. For example, the second paragraph contains contradictory information, which confuses the reader. Focus on presenting accurate data and ensuring that each sentence logically connects to the previous one to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. The report uses some relevant terms, but it could benefit from more sophisticated language to describe the trends and comparisons. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'spent,' consider using synonyms like 'allocated,' 'invested,' or 'expended.' Also, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to economic trends and consumer behavior to enhance the report's depth.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect use of articles, and awkward phrasing are present throughout the text. For example, 'cars recieved' should be 'cars received,' and 'NWS consumers expenditure' should be 'NSW consumers' expenditure.' Pay close attention to these common errors and proofread carefully to improve grammatical accuracy. Vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range, but ensure each sentence is grammatically sound.

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