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Band 4+: the chart below shows the number of males and females studying different sibjects in Toronto in 2013

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The image depicts a bar graph illustrating the number of students studying six different subjects divided into males, females, and total. Social sciences: males 2500, females 5000, total 7500; Engineering: males 4000, females 1000, total 5000; Health: males 500, females 1500, total 2000; Humanities: males 1000, females 1600, total 2600; Science and maths: males 2000, females 1500, total 3500; Agriculture: males 1000, females 500, total 1500.

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The chart below shows of males and females studying in different sunjects in Toonto in 2013. Overall we can see that in social sciences, health and humanities females better than males. In engineering, science and math better males.

In 2013 in some subjects numbers of female students more by 500-1000 students than males. Subjects where female students more: Social sciences, health and humanties. Females are entering the humanities program.

About male students, their better in mathematical sciences. For example, engineering, science and maths. The chart below shows that males more by 1000 undergrads.

Despite the number of undergrads in other subjects, agriculture stays on the side because neither males nor females were admitted there in 2013.

To sum up, females were admitted more in humanities, males in mathematical science. Unfortunitaly n 2013 nobody choosed agricultue.

Word Count: 135

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

males: 6

females: 5

students: 4

sciences: 3

humanities: 3

better: 3

science: 3

subjects: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and lacks specific data. The writing is also somewhat disorganized and repetitive. To improve, focus on providing precise data from the graph, organizing the information more logically (e.g., by subject area or gender), and avoiding generalizations without supporting evidence. Also, ensure correct grammar and sentence structure. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and transitions between ideas. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate distinct points. The overall structure could be improved to enhance readability and logical flow. For example, group similar subjects together and compare/contrast the numbers.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is repetition of simple words and phrases. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to data analysis and academic writing. For example, use synonyms for 'better' and 'more'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing. For example, pay attention to pluralization and article usage.

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Band 4+: the chart below shows the number of males and females studying different sibjects in Toronto in 2013

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the chart below shows the number of males and females studying different sibjects in Toronto in 2013

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