Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts a bar graph comparing data for two years, 2001 and 2008, across five categories: Sales, Accounting, Computing, Nursing, and Farming. In Sales, 2001 shows approximately 140,000, while 2008 shows approximately 155,000. In Accounting, 2001 shows approximately 80,000, and 2008 shows approximately 60,000. In Computing, 2001 shows approximately 60,000, and 2008 shows approximately 90,000. In Nursing, 2001 shows approximately 40,000, and 2008 shows approximately 42,000. In Farming, 2001 shows approximately 20,000, and 2008 shows approximately 18,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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In this chart gives information about the number of humans employed in five ways of work in one region of Australian in 2001 and 2008. Overall, the chart have 5 types work: sales, accounting, computing, nursing in addition farming.

In 2001, work of sales a lot of employees, approximately 158.000. However, sales of work was a little of increase 165.000 in 2008. Second work is accounting. In 2001, accounting had 62.000 employees. But, 7 years later, accounting demands was decrease in 79.000. Third work is computing. This work was increase in 2008. Because in this period had more demand of computing than in 2001. The next is nursing of work. In this way did not increase and fall in 2001 and 2008. The last one is farming. In 2001, Australian’s people did not need farming and in this type of work was demands was so less in 2008. However, 7 years after, this type of work was increase but did not up than nursing.

In conclusion, one region of Australia in 2001 between 2008 was a lot of demand in sales of work. On the other hand, farming score was so less than other types of works.

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 4

accounting: 4

increase: 4

computing: 3

farming: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data and some issues with the clarity of the language. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the chart and use more precise language to describe trends and comparisons. Also, ensure a clear structure with a concise overview and conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The ideas are not well-organized, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The introduction is present, but the overview of the main trends is not clear. The body paragraphs lack focus, and the conclusion is weak and repetitive. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs, using transition words and phrases to connect your ideas, and providing a clear overview of the main trends in the introduction.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are some instances of inaccurate word choice. For example, 'ways of work' could be improved to 'types of employment'. To improve lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, and pay attention to the accuracy of your word choices. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find synonyms and alternative ways to express your ideas. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. There are also some awkward sentence structures and phrasing issues. For example, 'In this chart gives information' should be 'This chart gives information'. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing writing different types of sentences. Pay attention to the accuracy of your verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct any errors.

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