Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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The image showcases employment numbers in five work types for 2001 and 2008: Sales 2001 is 140,000 vs 2008 is 160,000; Accounting 2001 is 80,000 vs 2008 is 60,000; Computing 2001 is 60,000 vs 2008 is 80,000; Nursing 2001 is 40,000 vs 2008 is 50,000; Farming 2001 is 20,000 vs 2008 is 40,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given chart clearly illustrates the number employee in various five works on particular region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.

Overall glance at the bar graph indicates that sales sector comprises maximum employee whereas farming contribute least job. On the other hand, accounting, computing and nursing have somehow similar contribution. The different sector also experienced some changes between 2001 and 2008, mainly sales ,computing and nursing sector saw increase while accounting and farming saw a deep.

In 2001, the sales sector had just below 160,000 people working for it, which increased to the mark around 165,000 in 2008. Accounting sector with about 65,000 employee decreased its contribution to 60,000 in 2008. However, Accounting and compouting saw surge in their jobs from 60,000 and 55,000 in 2001 to 80,000 and just above 60,000 in year 2008 respectively. Despite of minimum worker in farming sector of about 30,000 in 2001 there was a significant plunge in its statistics in the year 2008.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sector: 6

accounting: 4

employee: 3

sales: 3

farming: 3

60000: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main features and making some comparisons. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., sales figures, accounting and computing descriptions) and some unclear phrasing (e.g., 'number employee', 'saw a deep', 'compouting'). The overall structure is present, but the report would benefit from more precise data reporting and clearer language. Focus on accurately presenting the numbers and using appropriate vocabulary for trends (e.g., 'increase', 'decrease', 'rise', 'fall').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to present an overview and then details, but the structure is somewhat disorganised. The second paragraph mixes comparisons and data in a confusing way, and the progression of ideas is not always logical. To improve, use clear paragraphing: one paragraph for the overall trend and another for specific data with comparisons. Use linking words like 'in contrast' or 'similarly' to guide the reader smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive (e.g., 'sector', 'employee', 'increase'). There are also inaccuracies like 'maximum employee' and 'deep' instead of 'decrease'. To improve, use a wider range of precise terms (e.g., 'employment figures', 'workforce', 'rose sharply', 'declined significantly'). Avoid informal phrases like 'just below' and aim for more formal academic language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('number employee'), incorrect prepositions ('in various five works'), and tense inconsistencies. Sentence structures are often awkward or incomplete. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence types (simple, compound, complex) correctly. Proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors and ensure clarity.

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