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Band 7+: The chart below shows the number of people (millions) using phones of 3 major mobile phone companies in Montreal between 2010 and 2015.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of people (millions) using phones of 3 major mobile phone companies in Montreal between 2010 and 2015.

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The image shows a line graph of data from 2010 to 2015 for Samsung, Apple, and Nokia. In 2010, Samsung: 26, Apple: 35, Nokia: 16. In 2011, Samsung: 41, Apple: 25, Nokia: 26. In 2012, Samsung: 47, Apple: 41, Nokia: 39. In 2013, Samsung: 42, Apple: 46, Nokia: 42. In 2014, Samsung: 36, Apple: 50, Nokia: 32. In 2015, Samsung: 44, Apple: 68, Nokia: 41.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates how the number of people using phones of three major mobile phone businesses in Montreal from 2010 to 2015.

Overall, the numbers of Samsung, Apple, and Nokia followed upward patterns. Additionally, the number of Apple was the highest over the period.

Looking at the data more closely, the number of Apple significantly increased, starting at 35 million in 2010 and increasing to 43 million in 2011, the number peaked at 68 million in 2015 and was the highest number over the period. Similarly, the figure for Samsung noticeably rose with a wild fluctuation over the years, starting at 26 million in 2010 and rising to 47 million in 2012, but dropped to 32 million in 2014. Additionally, the figure for Nokia increased, albeit at varying rates. There was a dramatic grow from 16 million in 2010 to 39 million in two years and growing to 44 million in 2015.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 9

number: 5

apple: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and provides relevant data, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report states Apple increased to 43 million in 2011, but the visual description states 25 million. Also, the report states Nokia grew to 44 million in 2015, but the visual description states 41 million. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and proofread carefully.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and supporting details. However, the flow could be improved in the detailed analysis section. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transition words or phrases could be used to signal shifts in focus or to compare and contrast trends more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there's room for more precise and sophisticated word choices. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'number' or 'figure,' try incorporating synonyms like 'proportion,' 'volume,' or 'count' where appropriate. Also, consider using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to add nuance to the descriptions of the trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Review the report carefully to identify and correct these errors. Also, consider incorporating a wider range of sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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