Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the numbers of male and female UK Government workers in various departments for the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the numbers of male and female UK Government workers in various departments for the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts a bar chart with Government worker numbers for 2016, categorized by department and gender. In Transport, there are 210 men and 20 women. In Employment, there are 100 men and 50 women. In Administration, there are 110 men and 50 women. In Health, there are 90 men and 200 women. In Education, there are 100 men and 100 women. In Social Services, there are 40 men and 150 women.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart gives information about the UK Government worker numbers in diverse departments divided by male and female for the year 2016.

Overall, the number of male workers is mostly higher than female employees in UK Government for 2016.

The transport represented the highest margin in numbers of employees of different genders, according for about 210 in male and approximately 40 in female. By contrast, the workers in education industry rendered almost equivalent numbers in both sex, ranging from 150 to 200. However, the number of woman reached around 110 in social services which is the only record higher than male workers in 2016.

The number of male workers in adminstration and employment were equal in 150, while female workers witnessed about 60 and 70. The department of health experienced the peak of workers in both sex, recording about 230 in man and around 190 in woman by 2016.

Word Count: 149

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

workers: 6

about: 4

female: 4

numbers: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but contains inaccuracies in the data, which affects the overall task achievement. The organization is generally clear, but the language could be more precise. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and using more precise language to describe the trends and figures. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping departments with similar trends together to enhance coherence. For example, discuss departments where male workers outnumbered female workers in one paragraph, and then transition to departments where female workers were more numerous in another paragraph. Also, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one, using transitional phrases to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise. For instance, instead of 'diverse departments,' you could use 'various departments.' Also, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data, such as 'dominated,' 'significantly outnumbered,' or 'constituted a smaller proportion.' Using more specific language will make your report more impactful.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'transport represented the highest margin in numbers of employees of different genders, according for about 210 in male and approximately 40 in female' is grammatically incorrect. It should be revised to something like 'The Transport department had the largest difference in employee numbers between genders, with approximately 210 male and 40 female employees.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of prepositions, and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.

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Band 6+: The chart below shows the numbers of male and female UK Government workers in various departments for the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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