Line Graph

Band 6+: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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The image displays a line graph depicting percentage of Australian residents born abroad across five years: in 1976, the percentages were Total 25, UK 14, Other 8, Asia 1; in 1981 Total 23, UK 12, Other 9, Asia 2; in 1986 Total 22, UK 10, Other 10, Asia 3; in 1991 Total 22, UK 9, Other 11, Asia 4; in 1996 Total 23, UK 8, Other 12, Asia 5; in 2001 Total 25, UK 8, Other 12, Asia 6; in 2006 Total 26, UK 7, Other 13, Asia 8; in 2011 Total 27, UK 6, Other 14, Asia 10.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart provides the data about the percentage of Australian people who were born in various places of the world.

Overall, it can be seen that the number of people in total, in other countries, and in Asia increased over the given period, while the percentage of people who were born in the UK declined gradually between 1976 and 2011.

In 1976, the total percentage was about 30% and declined moderately to approximately 25% between 1986 and 1991 , before increasing significantly to around 35% by 2011. By contrast, percentages for people who were born in other countries and in Asia fluctuated over the period and continued to rose slightly to approximately 15% by 2011.

The percentage of Australian residents born in the UK was around 15% in 1976, before falling sharply between these years.The percentage reached it is lowest point( about 5%) in 2011, which making this group of Australians the smallest among other people who were born abroad.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 5

people: 5

about: 3

other: 3

between: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main trends and features of the line graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, and the overall structure could be improved for clarity. To improve, ensure data accuracy by double-checking figures and focus on providing more specific details and comparisons within each paragraph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The flow of information is somewhat disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph. Consider structuring the report with a clearer focus on specific time periods or categories to enhance coherence. For example, group the trends for increasing percentages together and then address the decreasing percentages. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task. There are instances of appropriate use of terms like 'declined gradually,' 'fluctuated,' and 'rose slightly.' However, there's room to enhance the sophistication of the language by incorporating more precise vocabulary related to trends and data analysis. For example, instead of 'increased significantly,' consider using terms like 'saw a marked increase' or 'experienced a substantial rise.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary is used accurately and naturally throughout the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. For example, in the third paragraph, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence construction. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the report for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Pay attention to the correct use of prepositions and articles. Additionally, vary the sentence structure to enhance the overall flow and readability of the report.

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