Line Graph

Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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The image displays a line graph depicting percentage of Australian residents born abroad across five years: in 1976, the percentages were Total 25, UK 14, Other 8, Asia 1; in 1981 Total 23, UK 12, Other 9, Asia 2; in 1986 Total 22, UK 10, Other 10, Asia 3; in 1991 Total 22, UK 9, Other 11, Asia 4; in 1996 Total 23, UK 8, Other 12, Asia 5; in 2001 Total 25, UK 8, Other 12, Asia 6; in 2006 Total 26, UK 7, Other 13, Asia 8; in 2011 Total 27, UK 6, Other 14, Asia 10.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph compares the proportion of Australian population all around the world the years from 1976 to 2011.

Overall, there were 4 different categories ( total, UK, other and Asia) the total number of people were acquired the dominant percentage in the given years. However, UK showed a significant decline.

Regarding to 1976 year, the figure for Total Australians stayed the peak point nearly 30%. However, this figure was decreased slightly until 1986, before the proportion of total was reached at 33% at the end of the year. By contrast, the percentage of Australian people in UK were born about 15% in 1976, followed was by, a dramatic fall during the period.

In 1976, the data for population in Asia started at over 3%. After that, this point showed a significant rise at 15% in 2011. Moreover, the proportion of Australian people who were born in Other places, first witnessed a moderate drop from about 10% in 1976 to 8% in 1986. However, the figure reached it’s peak point at just under 15% in 2006.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

total: 4

proportion: 3

australian: 3

people: 3

however: 3

figure: 3

point: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and categories, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. While the task requires reporting the information provided, the report includes several figures that contradict the visual description (for example, stating the 'Total' reached 33% or that 'Asia' started at over 3% and rose to 15%, whereas the data shows much lower values). Additionally, some phrasing is awkward or grammatically incorrect, which occasionally obscures the meaning. To improve, focus on accurately extracting the numbers from the chart and ensuring that the relationship between the data points is described clearly and logically.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and incorrect transitional markers. For example, 'Regarding to 1976 year' is not a standard way to introduce a time period. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices more naturally (e.g., 'In terms of...', 'Looking at the data for...') and ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next without repetitive structures.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate. There are instances where word choices do not convey the intended meaning effectively, such as 'the total number of people were acquired the dominant percentage' or 'the figure for Total Australians stayed the peak point'. To reach a higher band, aim for more precise academic collocations (e.g., 'accounted for the largest proportion' instead of 'acquired the dominant percentage') and vary your vocabulary for trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'climbed', 'plummeted'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence structure (e.g., 'followed was by, a dramatic fall' and 'this figure was decreased'). Additionally, there are errors in preposition usage and article placement. I recommend practicing complex sentence structures and focusing on the correct use of the passive voice and past tense to describe historical data accurately.

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