Bar Chart

Band 7+: The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains two clustered bar charts for years 1950 and 2010 focusing on people born in and outside Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas: In 1950, for people born in Australia, cities account for approximately 50%, towns around 20%, rural areas about 30%; for people born outside, cities are at about 60%, towns close to 15%, rural areas around 20%. In 2010, for people born in Australia, cities represent approximately 65%, towns approximately 15%, rural areas about 10%; for people born outside, cities comprise around 80%, towns near 10%, rural areas slightly below 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian and non-Australian people dwelling in cities, towns and countryside in 1950 and in 2010.

Overall, the percentages of those who lived in cities rised significantly in 2010, while other figures for towns and rural areas dropped sharply, compared to the 1950’s level. Along with that, that for the population in the countryside experienced the sharpest drop among three categories.

In 1950, the percentage of people living in the rural areas in Australia was higher than the figure for those staying in the same type of area somewhere else, with around 40 and 25 percent, respectively. However, the latter was lower than the former, when the population rate in towns is considered.

In contrast to 1950, the figures of city dwellers, both in Australia and other countries, increased, reaching the peakes of approximately 65 and 80 percent in 2010. Although they rised, the fraction of people in towns and countryside decreased to under 20% and even lower levels in the same year.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

towns: 4

people: 3

countryside: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., 'around 40 and 25 percent' in paragraph 3). To improve, ensure data accuracy and vary sentence structure more.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, with a discernible progression of ideas. The overall trends are identified in the second paragraph, and the subsequent paragraphs provide more specific details. However, the flow could be improved with more explicit linking between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, the transition between the overview and the specific details could be smoother. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the information. The paragraphing is generally adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. Terms like 'proportion,' 'dwelling,' 'rised significantly,' and 'dropped sharply' are used effectively. However, there's room to enhance the sophistication of the language. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' consider synonyms like 'proportion' or 'fraction.' Also, explore more varied ways to describe changes and trends. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, ensure precise usage to avoid any ambiguity. For instance, double-check the accuracy of terms like 'countryside' versus 'rural areas' to maintain clarity.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are a few grammatical errors and phrasing issues, as noted, but they do not significantly impede understanding. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. For example, in the second paragraph, 'the percentages of those who lived in cities rised significantly' could be improved to 'the percentage of those living in cities rose significantly.' Review and correct these errors to enhance the overall clarity and precision of the report. Consistent accuracy in grammar will elevate the report's credibility.

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