Pie Chart

Band 7+: The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

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The image shows pie charts depicting the distribution of money spent on music in Northern Ireland for the years 2005, 2008, and 2011. In 2005: CDs 61%, Concerts 31%, Digital downloads 6%, Other sources 2%. In 2008: CDs 43%, Concerts 23%, Digital downloads 32%, Other sources 2%. In 2011: CDs 26%, Concerts 28%, Digital downloads 43%, Other sources 3%.

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The pie charts compare the allocation of money to different categories of music in three years in Northern Ireland.

Overall digital downloads witnessed an upward trend, while CDs and concerts declined. Additionally, CDs was recorded as the highest expenditure in music in the intial two years, but it was overtaken by digital downloads in 2011.

The percentage of money expenses on CDs comprised a considerable 61% in 2005 before decreased by a fifth in 2008 and dropping further to only 26% in 2011. Similarly, musical shows were the second popular in music spending at 31%, this figure decreased a slight by 23% in 2008. In 2011, concerts became common again and reached 28% in total of music expenditure. Throughout three surveys both CDs and musical festivals were less popular for individuals in Northern Ireland due to the improvement of social.

In contrast, online installers started at a modest figure, 6%. After three years, it increased by approximately four times and became the most popular sources of music in 2011. According to the data, almost two-fifths of people spent their money in digital downloads. A tiny amount of expenditure was distributed to other music platforms in the whole period at about 2%.

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

music: 6

money: 3

three: 3

years: 3

digital: 3

downloads: 3

expenditure: 3

popular: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key features of the pie charts, providing a general overview of the changes in music spending in Northern Ireland over the given period. There is a clear overall trend identified, and the report includes relevant data to support the observations. To improve, focus on providing more precise data references and avoid generalizations or assumptions not directly supported by the charts. Also, ensure that all significant changes and values are mentioned to provide a more comprehensive analysis.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and supporting details. However, some sentences could be restructured for better flow and clarity. For instance, the transition between the decline of CDs and concerts and the rise of digital downloads could be smoother. Also, avoid introducing external factors such as 'improvement of social' without direct support from the data.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the description. For example, instead of 'money expenses,' using 'expenditure' or 'spending' would be more accurate. Consider synonyms for frequently used words like 'increased' and 'decreased' to add variety.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a good command of grammar, but there are a few errors that need attention. For example, 'The percentage of money expenses on CDs comprised a considerable 61% in 2005 before decreased by a fifth in 2008' contains awkward phrasing and a tense issue. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structure to improve accuracy.

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