Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart shows components of GDP in Australia from 2012 to 2020.

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The image shows a bar chart detailing GDP contributions in Australia from 2012 to 2020 for the Automotive and Finance industries as percentages: Finance 2012: 7%, Automotive 2012: 4%, Finance 2014: 8%, Automotive 2014: 5%, Finance 2016: 7%, Automotive 2016: 6%, Finance 2018: 10%, Automotive 2018: 7%, Finance 2020: 14%, Automotive 2020: 8%.

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The bar chart presents comparison between Gross Domestic Product from Automotive and Finance industry in Australia as a percentage of GDP.

In 2020, australian finance sector were remarkably high, while automotive percentage was halve as low. In 2012, money management started with 6 percent, then gradually increased to 8 percent and in 2016 showed a downward trend. Despite that, in 2018 the percentage recovered, then rosed sharply and continued to grow steadily by 2020, reaching 14 percent. What considering auto sector, percentage in 2012 were slightly lower than finance and continued to marginally grow every year, but without overtaking financial industry. In 2016 percentage almost flattened out with finance, but due to significant growth of the finance in 2018, car industry was left behind but continued to increase and reached the highest point in 2020 – 8 percent, which is twice as much as in 2012.

By analysing the bar chart, we can notice that while automotive percentage remained stability, while finance percentage showed some fluctuations and thus it grew much more.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 7

finance: 6

percent: 4

automotive: 3

industry: 3

while: 3

continued: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task requirements by summarizing the main features of the bar chart and making some comparisons. However, there are some areas for improvement. The description of the trends is generally clear, but could benefit from more precise language and a stronger focus on overall trends rather than year-by-year descriptions. The report could also benefit from a more sophisticated concluding statement that summarizes the overall relationship between the two sectors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The ideas are somewhat connected, but the transitions between them are not always smooth, making it slightly difficult for the reader to follow effortlessly. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to group related ideas and improve the overall structure. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs for better clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there's room to enhance the sophistication and naturalness of the language used. Focus on expanding your vocabulary related to economic trends and comparisons to provide a more nuanced description of the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact the clarity of the writing. Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage are present. While the overall meaning is generally understandable, improving grammatical accuracy would significantly enhance the report's quality. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors.

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