Bar Chart

Band 4+: The charts above give information on the ages of people when they got married in one country in 1996 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts above give information on the ages of people when they got married in one country in 1996 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains two bar graphs, one representing data from 1996 and the other from 2008, depicting the age when getting married by age group, divided by gender (Female/Male). In 1996, for age group 16-19, females had a percentage around 12%, while males were just above 2%; for 20-24, females were just above 8%, males around 6%, for 25-29, females were just under 6%, males just under 4%; for 30-34, females were around 4%, males just over 2%; for 35-39, females were just under 2%, males just above 0%; for 40-44, females were around 0%, males around 0%. In 2008, for age group 16-19, females had a percentage around 2%, while males were around 0%; for 20-24, females were around 6%, males around 4%; for 25-29, females were above 10%, males around 6%; for 30-34, females were under 14%, males around 8%; for 35-39, females were around 6%, males around 4%; for 40-44, females and males were around 2%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The charts illustrate how old people when they got married in one particular country between 1996 and 2008.

Overall, it is clear that people tended to marry at an older age in 2008 than in 1996. In both years, women generally married younger than men, while the most common age group for marriage shifted slightly upwards over time.

First, in 1996, the group 16 to 19 was the lowest percentage with male was 10% and female was not here, and this has slightly decreased in 2008, which means the percentage of male marrige was under 10%. Second, the group 20 to 24 has changed a lot. In 1996, the number of male marrige was about 60% but then has a sharply decreased in 20%. Meanwhile the percentage of female marrige still remained in about 20%. Third, the group 25 to 29 has changed a little bit. Male marrige still remianed in 120% while the female marrige was about 90% in 1996 but has dropped to 80% in 2008.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

marrige: 5

group: 4

percentage: 3

female: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and irrelevant information. The data cited is often incorrect and lacks clear comparisons. The structure is somewhat present with an overview, but the body paragraphs are confusing and difficult to follow due to the inaccurate data and unclear comparisons. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the charts, making clear and relevant comparisons between the years and genders, and organizing the information in a more coherent and logical manner.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The information is not presented in a coherent manner, making it difficult to follow the main trends and comparisons. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and paragraphing is not effectively managed. For example, the transitions between different age groups are abrupt and lack clear connections. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that focus on specific trends or comparisons, and a concise conclusion. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to link ideas and sentences together smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point, and that the supporting sentences provide relevant details and evidence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and some inaccuracies in word choice. There are instances where the vocabulary used is not precise or appropriate for the context. To enhance lexical resource, expand your vocabulary related to describing trends, comparisons, and data analysis. Use a variety of synonyms and idiomatic expressions to add depth and nuance to your writing. Pay attention to the specific meaning and usage of words to ensure accuracy and clarity. For example, instead of saying 'changed a lot,' you could use more specific phrases like 'increased significantly' or 'decreased substantially.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and inaccuracies that impede clarity and understanding. There are errors in sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Punctuation is also used incorrectly in several places. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple and complex sentences correctly, and pay attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Review the rules for article usage and punctuation, and proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors. Consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from a language tutor to identify and address specific areas for improvement.

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