Multiple Graphs

Band 4+: The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australias share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australias share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

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The image contains two graphs; the first graph shows the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad from 1985 to 1995, with the following data points for each year (in millions): '85=4, '86=5, '87=6, '88=7, '89=8, '90=10, '91=12, '92=14, '93=16, '94=18, '95=16. The second graph shows Australia's share of Japan's tourist market from 1985 to 1994, with the following data points for each year (percentage going to Australia): '85=3, '86=3.5, '87=4, '88=4.5, '89=5, '90=5.5, '91=6, '92=6.5, '93=6.5, '94=6.5.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This is the combination of bar graph and line graph that illustrates the Japanese tourists traveling abroad and Australia’s share of Japan’s tourist market between 1985 to 1995. Overall, the number of Japanese tourists were increasing gradually till 1995 and percentage coming to Australia was high in 1993.

In 1985, almost five million Japanese tourists were traveling to abroad and in 1990, the number of traveler reached nearly eleven million. In next year the amount of visitor decreased little bit and then again increased in 1993 and reached 12 million. This trend was increasing gradually and reached over the fifteen million in 1995. The percentage of sightseer in Australia was 2% in 1985 and this trend rose in 1988 and reached at 5% but in next year this showed a 1% decline and reached at 4%. In 1990 the trend gain rose and reached at 5% and gradually escalate till 1994 and it reached at over 6% in next year.

The number of Japanese visitors was low and the percentage of visitors coming to Australia in 1985 but the trend was rose in next year and slowly was going to upward.

Word Count: 191

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

reached: 7

japanese: 4

million: 4

trend: 4

tourists: 3

number: 3

gradually: 3

percentage: 3

australia: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing both charts, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. The overview contains inaccuracies regarding the trends (e.g., stating the number of tourists increased gradually until 1995, whereas the data shows a peak and a subsequent drop). Furthermore, the specific data points mentioned in the body paragraphs often contradict the provided visual description, which makes the report difficult to follow. To improve, focus on accurately extracting the trends and figures from the charts and ensure that the overview provides a clear, true summary of the main patterns without getting bogged down in specific numbers. Avoid repetitive concluding statements that do not add new information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat disjointed. While there is an attempt at an overview and body paragraphs, the progression of ideas is difficult to follow due to repetitive structures and unclear transitions. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Subsequently,' 'Following this') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic. The concluding sentence is also redundant and does not add new information or a meaningful summary.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is quite limited and often used incorrectly. There is frequent repetition of words like 'reached,' 'trend,' and 'tourists.' There are also several instances of incorrect word forms and collocations, such as 'the trend gain rose' or 'the amount of visitor.' To improve, aim to use more precise synonyms for trends (e.g., 'surged,' 'fluctuated,' 'plateaued') and ensure that nouns and verbs are used in their correct forms (e.g., 'tourists' instead of 'sightseer' in a plural context).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impede the reader's ability to understand the report. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the number of Japanese tourists were'), tense consistency, and article usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple and often contain errors in prepositional use (e.g., 'traveling to abroad'). To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, practicing the use of past tense for historical data, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with correct punctuation and conjunctions.

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