Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spent on various Internet activities in their free time (excluding email) in Canada during 2010. Percentage of time spent

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The image contains two pie charts comparing the percentage of time spent on various Internet activities in free time by two age groups in Canada during 2010. The first age group, 18-26, spent 24% on Social Networking, 20% on Researching info/health data, 18% on Playing games, 16% on Making purchases, 12% on Accessing music/films, and 10% on Making bookings. The second age group, 60-70, spent 28% on Making bookings, 25% on Social Networking, 21% on Researching info/health data, 15% on Making purchases, 12% on Accessing music/films, and 5% on Playing games.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The charts illustrate the population of time younger and elderly people spent on various online activities in their free time (excluding email) in Canada during 2010.

Firstly, in the first chart the biggest percentage made up social networking 24%. After that the second place in the ranking accounted for accessing music/films 21% Researching e.g health data was only 1% less than researching e.g health data. Playing games composed 18%. Making purchases made up 12%. In comparison with first chart in the second chart playing games in the last place.

Secondly, in the second chart the highest proportion composed making bookings e.g cinema/ travel 25%. Pesearching e.g health data accounted for 22%. Accessing music/films made up 15%. Making purchases remain unchanged 12%. The smallest proportion composed playing games 5%.

Overall, younger people prefer spent their time with social media, music and games. When adults do this only if necessary for example, booking and accessing music.

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

chart: 4

games: 4

second: 3

accessing: 3

health: 3

playing: 3

composed: 3

making: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The data is not always accurately represented, and the comparison between the two age groups could be more developed. The organization is somewhat clear, but the language could be more precise and varied. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, making direct comparisons between the two groups, and using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is somewhat organized, but the flow of information is not always smooth. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be clearer. For instance, the transition between the description of the first chart and the second chart is abrupt. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the overall coherence. Paragraphing could also be improved to group related ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There are instances where more appropriate word choices could have been used to describe the data. For example, instead of saying 'the biggest percentage made up social networking,' you could use phrases like 'the largest proportion was attributed to social networking.' Expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and article usage. For example, 'younger people prefer spent their time' is grammatically incorrect. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofreading carefully for errors before submitting your work is also essential.

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