Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts below show the share of the swiss market by brand in 2020 and 2021.

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The image displays two pie charts depicting percentages for various categories, specifically mobile phone, laptop, tablet, desktop computer, flat-screen TV, and conventional TV for the years 2009 and 2019; in 2009, mobile phone is 15%, laptop 20%, tablet 19%, desktop computer 8%, flat-screen TV 18%, conventional TV 34%; in 2019, mobile phone is 27%, laptop 12%, tablet 12%, desktop computer 8%, flat-screen TV 19%, conventional TV 26%.

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The pie chart depicts the share details of Swiss watch market brand in the years, 2009 and 2019.

Overall, six electronics had been illustrated. They are mobile phone,Laptop,Tablet, Desktop computer, flat-screen TV and conventional TV. Out of 6 gadgets, 3 shares declined in 2019 and other 3 rapidly improved in 2019. Not a single one holds the same share after 1 decade.

In the year 2009, conventional TV had the highest percent share holding 34%.However , in the year 2019, it declined to 4%.Desktop computers holds 18% in 2009 and fell to 12% in 2019. The shares of laptop fell from 20% to 12% in 2019. These 3 are the ones which had a downfall.

In the year 2019,mobile phone became the highest share with 26% which was only 15% in 2009. The tablet turned upside down. It holds the least number in 2009,had 5% and updated to 19% in 2019. However the share of Flat-screen TV improved from 8% to 27%.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

share: 5

holds: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the pie charts and identifying overall trends. However, there are several inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data, such as stating conventional TV declined to 4% (actual is 26%), desktop computers held 18% in 2009 (actual is 8%), and flat-screen TV improved from 8% to 27% (actual is 19% to 27%? The visual description shows 18% to 19%). The report also misidentifies the market as 'Swiss watch market' instead of the Swiss market for electronics, and the years are incorrectly stated as 2009 and 2019 instead of 2020 and 2021. The inclusion of irrelevant or inaccurate information in key areas detracts from the task achievement. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data from the visual description, correctly identifying the market and years, and avoiding unsupported claims.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a basic structure with an introduction and separate paragraphs for declines and increases. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear phrasing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'These 3 are the ones which had a downfall' is awkward. The paragraphing could be improved by grouping related information more logically and using clearer linking words to guide the reader. Additionally, the conclusion is missing, which affects overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and repetitive. Words like 'share', 'declined', and 'improved' are used multiple times. There are also inaccuracies, such as 'turned upside down' and 'updated to', which are not appropriate for describing data trends. To improve, use a wider range of precise terms (e.g., 'rose significantly', 'experienced a sharp drop', 'remained stable') and avoid informal or incorrect expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'the share details of Swiss watch market brand' (incorrect article and word choice), 'Out of 6 gadgets' (informal), and 'Desktop computers holds' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas. While some complex structures are attempted, they are not always accurate. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and proper punctuation to improve clarity.

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Band 5+: The charts below show the share of the swiss market by brand in 2020 and 2021.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below show the share of the swiss market by brand in 2020 and 2021.

The charts below show the share of the swiss market by brand in 2020 and 2021.

The charts below show the share of the swiss market by brand in 2020 and 2021.

The charts below show the share of the swiss market by brand in 2020 and 2021.

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he changes in the percentage of electricity usage across various industries between 1995 and 2005.

The pie charts below show the sources of energy used in Australia in 2008 and projections for 2030. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts below show the methods used by international students to book online English courses in three different countries in 2009 and 2010.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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