Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts below show the share of the swiss market by brand in 2020 and 2021.

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The image displays two pie charts depicting percentages for various categories, specifically mobile phone, laptop, tablet, desktop computer, flat-screen TV, and conventional TV for the years 2009 and 2019; in 2009, mobile phone is 15%, laptop 20%, tablet 19%, desktop computer 8%, flat-screen TV 18%, conventional TV 34%; in 2019, mobile phone is 27%, laptop 12%, tablet 12%, desktop computer 8%, flat-screen TV 19%, conventional TV 26%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie graphs provide information about the SWISS WATCH market by brand between 2020 and 2021.

Overall, it is evident that the largest segment of the first pie chart is conventional TV in 2009, while in 2019, the biggest proportion is flat-screen TV. Meanwhile, tablets had the smallest segment in 2009, conventional TV made up the lowest significant protion.

Regarding the first pie graph, conventional TV constituted 34%, which is just over laptops that is esimated at 20% roughly like desktop computers, which were 18% in 2009. Mobile phones were 15% in 2009 that is more than total of tablets and flat-screen TV.

The second graph shows that tablets incresad from 5% in 2009 to 19% in 2019, in contrast to conventional TVs decreased to reach 4% in the same period. Furthermore, the flat- screen TVs and mobile phones rose to be 27% and 26 respectively. Laptops and desk computers had equal proportion, which was 12% in 2019.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

conventional: 4

tablets: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The response only attempts to address the task. Key points may be irrelevant, inaccurate or inappropriate. The report misinterprets the categories and years, leading to inaccurate data representation and comparisons. To improve, carefully analyze the provided charts and ensure accurate data extraction and comparison. Focus on identifying the main trends and significant changes between the two years, and present the information in a clear and organized manner.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but struggles with accurately reflecting the data provided in the charts. The overall structure is present, but the information is not always presented logically or clearly. The report also contains inaccuracies when referring to the years and categories in the pie charts. To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that the information presented aligns with the data in the charts and is organized in a logical manner.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise. For example, using 'proportion' instead of 'protion' and ensuring accurate descriptions of the data. To enhance lexical resource, focus on using more precise vocabulary related to describing data and trends. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and inaccuracies that affect clarity. For example, incorrect verb tenses ('incresad' instead of 'increased'), subject-verb agreement issues, and inaccurate comparisons. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using correct verb tenses, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for errors.

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