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Band 5+: The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

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The image depicts three pie charts that represent the proportions of unemployed, employed, and further education-seeking Australian secondary school graduates in 1980, 1990, and 2000. In 1980, 50% were employed, 40% in further education, and 10% unemployed. In 1990, 50% were employed, 38% in further education, and 12% unemployed. In 2000, 55% were employed, 37% in further education, and 8% unemployed.

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The pie chart demonstrates the percentage of Australian school leavers who were jobless, employed or higher education in three years: 1980, 1990, and 2000.

Overall, it can be seen that the proportion of further education declined moderately, while that of both employed and unemployed pupils grew steadily. Meanwhile, the proportion of graduates who pursued higher education comprised the highest, while unemployed was opposite.

In 1980, half of the Australian secondary school leavers chose to continue their education. After a 10-year period, this figure dropped to 38% and continuely felt just 1% in 2000. Meanwhile, the number of secondary school graduates who were employed rose 10% from 40% to 50%, maintaining grew slightly to 55% in 2000.

In terms of graduates who were unemployed, this numer was the least over the period. In 1980, the number of people accounted for 10%, then climbed minimally to 12% in 1990. In later 10 years, this number plummet significantly to below 10%, just 8%.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 4

school: 3

employed: 3

unemployed: 3

graduates: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task and provides an overview of the trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data interpretation that affect the clarity of the report. For instance, the report states that half of the graduates chose further education in 1980, whereas the data indicates this was 40%. Additionally, the overview contains contradictory statements regarding which category was the highest. To improve, ensure that the data cited from the charts is accurate and that the overview provides a clear, consistent summary of the most prominent trends without conflicting information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, there are issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices. Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors. To improve, ensure that each sentence connects smoothly to the next using appropriate linking words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Subsequently', 'Regarding') and avoid repetitive sentence structures.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate. There are instances where words are used in a way that does not convey the intended meaning (e.g., 'continuely felt', 'comprised the highest', 'unemployed was opposite'). Additionally, there is a confusion between 'number' and 'percentage/proportion'; since the charts show percentages, you should avoid using 'the number of' when referring to the data points. Aim to use a wider variety of synonyms for 'show' (e.g., 'illustrate', 'depict') and 'change' (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'dipped').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with verb tense consistency (e.g., 'maintaining grew', 'this number plummet'), word forms (e.g., 'higher education' used instead of 'pursuing higher education'), and sentence construction. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of past tense when describing historical data. Practicing complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses (e.g., 'which accounted for...'), will help increase your score.

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Band 5+: The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

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