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Band 4+: The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

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The image depicts three pie charts that represent the proportions of unemployed, employed, and further education-seeking Australian secondary school graduates in 1980, 1990, and 2000. In 1980, 50% were employed, 40% in further education, and 10% unemployed. In 1990, 50% were employed, 38% in further education, and 12% unemployed. In 2000, 55% were employed, 37% in further education, and 8% unemployed.

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The charts illustrate secondary school graduates from Australia who were unemployed, employed or chose to study more between three different years: 1980, 1990 and 2000.

Overall, looking at given data, their were much less graduates who did not have job, while In the 1980 more students were chasing further education as compared to 1990 and 2000, graduates had continued their work life.

On the one hand, In 1980 graduates who were studying are at 50%..while 1990 was saw lesser students who continued their study only 38%. with not far behind the year 2000 with 37%. Further students. The highest unemployment rate seem in 1990 at 12%. The 10% jobless individuals saw by 1980 and the 8% in the year 2000.

On the other hand, A stable growth seem in employment sector. the year 1980 had showed the least with 40%. portion. between 1990. The number of people who have job is increased at 50%.. Interestingly the most persons were employed for year 2000 with 55%.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graduates: 4

their: 3

students: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and provides data for all categories across the three years. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting; for example, the report states that 50% of graduates were studying in 1980, whereas the visual description indicates this figure was 40%. Additionally, the overview is somewhat confusingly phrased. To improve, ensure that the data extracted from the charts is accurate and focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to ensure the comparisons between years are clear and logical.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, using 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to separate categories. However, the progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by fragmented sentences and punctuation errors. For example, sentences like 'Further students.' and 'the year 1980 had showed the least with 40%. portion. between 1990.' hinder the flow of information. To improve, focus on using full, cohesive sentences and ensure that transition words connect complete thoughts rather than isolated fragments.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and occasionally inaccurate in its application. While there is an attempt to use synonyms (e.g., 'jobless individuals', 'chasing further education'), there are several instances of awkward phrasing such as 'the most persons' or 'saw lesser students'. To improve, aim for more academic collocations, such as 'a higher proportion of students' instead of 'more students', and ensure that word choices follow standard English patterns. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the clarity of the report. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('unemployment rate seem'), tense consistency ('1990 was saw'), and sentence structure (many fragments and run-on sentences). Punctuation is also used incorrectly, often breaking up thoughts mid-sentence. To improve, practice constructing simple and complex sentences with correct verb tenses and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and predicate.

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Band 4+: The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

Other Topics:

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The puie graph below shows how electricity is produced in ireland and the table shows the primary reasons for using electricity in the same country

The bar graph gives information about the number of library books borrowed from Lammertown Public Library in 1991 and 2001 and the pie chart gives information about the library's membership in 2010.

The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportion of people spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1958 and in 2008.

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