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Band 6+: The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains four pie charts showing tourism distributions in Australia and Germany for 1960 and 2010. In 1960, Australia's tourism was comprised of Europe 53%, Britain 25%, USA 12%, and Asia 10%; by 2010, Europe decreased to 10%, Britain shrunk to 3%, USA fell to 7%, while Asia grew significantly to 63%. Germany in 1960 had Europe at 45%, Britain at 25%, USA at 20%, and Asia at 10%; by 2010, Europe slightly decreased to 40%, Britain diminished to 8%, USA lowered to 12%, and Asia more than doubled to 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts illustrate change in ratio of visits of foreign people in Australia and Germany in the year 1960 and 2010.

Overall, European tourists had declined significantly in Australia by the end of the period with the boost of Asian tourists. Whereas, Europe dominated in German tourism followed by USA and Asia.

In case of Australian tourism, Europe acquired half of the proportion with 53% and minimum people visited from Asia (10%) in 1960. By the end of the period, ratio of Asian tourists sky-rocketed to reach 63% while European people dropped by huge number to 10%. Tourists from Britain and USA dropped noticeably from 25% and 12% in 1960 to 20% and 7% in 2010 respectively.

On the other hand, German tourism highly acquired by Europe with 45% in 1960 which decreased by 5% in 2010 and remained dominated. Similarly, 20% of Britain tourists that visited in early year, declined significantly to 6% in 2010. Whereas, USA had quarter portion in German tourism which rose by 4%. Asian tourists increased from 10% to 25% after five decades.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourists: 6

tourism: 4

people: 3

asian: 3

europe: 3

german: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing an overview and detailed comparisons of tourism changes in both countries. The main trends are correctly identified, and the data is generally accurate. However, there are a few minor inaccuracies (e.g., Britain in Australia is stated as 20% instead of 3%, and USA in Germany is described as a quarter, which is inconsistent with the given 20%). The report could be improved by ensuring all figures are accurately reported and by using more precise language to describe changes. Overall, the response is well-structured and covers the requirements appropriately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for each country. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'the boost of Asian tourists', 'dropped by huge number'). The overview could be more precise and better integrated. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with smooth transitions between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'declined significantly', 'sky-rocketed', 'dropped noticeably'), which is appropriate for the task. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward collocations (e.g., 'change in ratio of visits', 'acquired half of the proportion', 'highly acquired by Europe'). To improve, use more precise and natural expressions, such as 'the proportion of tourists from...' and 'accounted for'. Also, avoid repetition and ensure word choice is accurate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including comparative forms and passive constructions. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity, such as 'illustrate change in ratio of visits' (missing article), 'minimum people visited' (incorrect word order), and 'dropped by huge number' (missing article). Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons or lack clarity. To improve, review article usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure for greater accuracy and fluency.

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