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Band 7+: The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains four pie charts showing tourism distributions in Australia and Germany for 1960 and 2010. In 1960, Australia's tourism was comprised of Europe 53%, Britain 25%, USA 12%, and Asia 10%; by 2010, Europe decreased to 10%, Britain shrunk to 3%, USA fell to 7%, while Asia grew significantly to 63%. Germany in 1960 had Europe at 45%, Britain at 25%, USA at 20%, and Asia at 10%; by 2010, Europe slightly decreased to 40%, Britain diminished to 8%, USA lowered to 12%, and Asia more than doubled to 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The charts compares the change in tourism to two different countries, namely Australia and Germany over a timeline of 50 years.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that in both nations, the number of tourists from Britain and Europe have reduced over the years. Whereas, a rise can be observed in Asian tourists.

In 2010, both the countries have recorded a increase in the people visiting from Asia, with a sharp rise of 53% tourists in Australia and 15% in Germany, compared to the year 1960. On the other hand, Australia observed a significant drop in the number of people visiting from Europe, falling down to only 10% in 2010 from 53% in 1960.

Meanwhile, Germany has recorded a 14% drop in the tourists from Britain over a period.

Furthermore, visitors from Britain and USA to Australia and Europe to Germany have fall by exactly 5% in 2010, from 25% and 45% in 1960 respectively. In contrast, there was a 4% hike in the number of visitors from USA to Germany in 2010 to 29% from 25% in 1960.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

germany: 5

australia: 4

number: 3

tourists: 3

britain: 3

europe: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing an overview and highlighting key trends, such as the increase in Asian tourism and the decrease in European and British tourism. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., the USA to Germany increase is stated as 4% to 29%, but the actual figures are 12% in 2010 from 20% in 1960, representing a decrease). Additionally, the report omits some specific data points and makes a minor error in the comparison of falls (e.g., the 5% drop for Britain to Australia and Europe to Germany is correct, but the phrasing could be clearer). To improve, ensure all data is accurately reported and avoid vague statements like 'fall by exactly 5%' without specifying the countries clearly. Overall, the main features are covered, but attention to detail in data accuracy would enhance the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', 'Meanwhile', and 'Furthermore' helps the reader follow the progression. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the final paragraph introduces multiple comparisons that could be more clearly linked. The paragraphing is generally effective, but the last paragraph could be split or restructured for better clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, including terms like 'significant drop', 'sharp rise', 'recorded a increase', and 'hike'. There is evidence of flexibility in word choice. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'a increase' (should be 'an increase'), 'fall by exactly 5%' (should be 'fell by exactly 5%'), and 'to 29% from 25%' (which is incorrect as the data shows 12% in 2010). The phrasing 'have fall' is also incorrect. To improve, ensure subject-verb agreement and use more precise vocabulary to describe changes. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect accuracy. For example, 'The charts compares' should be 'The charts compare', 'have recorded a increase' should be 'have recorded an increase', 'have fall' should be 'have fallen', and 'there was a 4% hike in the number of visitors from USA to Germany in 2010 to 29% from 25% in 1960' is grammatically awkward and contains a factual error. Punctuation is mostly correct, but the errors in verb tense and agreement need to be addressed. To improve, review subject-verb agreement, use correct past tense forms, and ensure articles are used correctly.

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