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Band 5+: The two pie charts below show how an average households in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 to 2015

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The image contains two pie charts detailing Household Energy Use in Australia for 1995 and 2015. In 1995, the distribution of energy use was: Heating 40%, Water Heating 30%, Other Appliances 10%, Lighting 10%, and Refrigeration 10%. In 2015, the distribution was: Heating 30%, Water Heating 25%, Other Appliances 20%, Refrigeration 15%, and Lighting 10%.

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The pie charts given illustrates the avarage proportion of energy used in five household fchores namely; lighting, water heating, refrigeration, heating and in other appliances in Australia in 1995 and 2015. The data was given in percentage.

Overall, the consumption of energy was high in heating in both years whereas lighting was the least. Other appliances and refrigeration had an increased percentage.

In 1995, the greatest portion of the bill was used in heating at 40 % while the smallest was lighting and refrigeration at 10%. Energy that was spent during water heating was 30% . The amount of energy that was used in lighting, in fridge and in other apliances was at 10 %.

In 2015, heating consumed more energy at 30 percent while the least waslighting at 10 percent. The water heating used 40 % which ment moderate amount. The least use of power in other appliances was at 20 slightly higher than in 1995. Fridges used 20 % of the energy supplied which was slightly more than the other year in comparison. Finaly, the smallest amount of power was used to light.

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

heating: 7

energy: 6

other: 5

lighting: 4

water: 3

refrigeration: 3

appliances: 3

least: 3

amount: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the 2015 water heating percentage is incorrectly stated as 40% (should be 25%), and the 'other appliances' figure is misreported as 20% (should be 20%, but the comparison to 1995 is unclear). Additionally, the report omits the 2015 lighting percentage and misstates the 1995 'other appliances' as 10% (which is correct, but the phrasing is confusing). The structure is logical, but the language contains errors (e.g., 'avarage', 'fchores', 'apliances', 'ment', 'Finaly') and some awkward phrasing. To improve, ensure accurate data reporting, proofread for spelling and grammar, and clarify comparisons between the two years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by awkward phrasing and some unclear references. The overview is present but could be more comprehensive. Paragraphing is attempted but not consistently managed, and some sentences are repetitive or lack clear logical progression. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'used', 'percentage', 'amount'). There are also spelling errors (e.g., 'avarage', 'fchores', 'apliances', 'Finaly') and some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'ment' instead of 'meant', 'in other appliances' instead of 'for other appliances'). To improve, expand your vocabulary to include more precise and varied terms, and ensure correct spelling and word choice to enhance clarity and sophistication.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and some complex sentences, but there are numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('charts given illustrates'), missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and run-on sentences. There are also issues with punctuation, such as missing commas and incorrect use of semicolons. To improve, focus on sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and proper punctuation. Reviewing grammar rules and proofreading can help enhance accuracy.

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Band 5+: The two pie charts below show how an average households in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 to 2015

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The two pie charts below show how an average households in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 to 2015

The two pie charts below show how an average households in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 to 2015

The two pie charts below show how an average households in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 to 2015

The two pie charts below show how an average households in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 to 2015

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