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Band 8+: The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains three pie charts showing percentages of Australian school leavers' activities post-secondary school in 1980, 1990, and 2000. In 1980, 50% pursued further education, 40% were employed, and 10% unemployed. In 1990, 38% pursued further education, 50% were employed, and 12% unemployed. In 2000, 37% pursued further education, 55% were employed, and 8% unemployed.

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The pie chart depicts what Australia did immediately after graduating from secondary school.

Overall, the proportion of employed school leaves saw an upward trend and became the highest percentage, while the figure for further education experienced a steady decrease. Meanwhile, the proportion for unemployed students fluctuated slightly throughout the period.

In 1980, further education was the most common choice, accounting for 50% of all secondary school graduates, while the figure for employed school leavers took the second position with 40%. In 1990, the proportion of further education decreased significantly to 38% after which fell to 37% in 2000. An opposite trend could be seen in the figure for employed school leavers. Specifically, it increased to 50% and became the largest proportion in 1990. After ten years, this figure rose slightly by 5%.

Unemployed school leavers accounted for the lowest proportion throughout the period. This figure started at 10% in 1980 and rose to 12% in 1990 before dropping to 8% in 2000.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 5

school: 5

figure: 5

after: 3

employed: 3

further: 3

education: 3

leavers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main trends and making relevant comparisons across the three years. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. The data is presented accurately, and the report remains focused on the key features. Minor lapses include a slight awkwardness in phrasing ('employed school leaves' instead of 'school leavers') and a minor omission of the exact percentage increase for employment from 1990 to 2000 (stated as 'rose slightly by 5%' without specifying the final value). However, these do not detract from the overall clarity and task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized and easy to follow. The introduction clearly states the topic, and the overview effectively summarizes the main trends. The body paragraphs are logically divided into two groups: further education/employment and unemployment. However, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother, and the final paragraph could be more clearly linked to the previous one. Overall, cohesion is strong, with only minor lapses.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, with good use of synonyms (e.g., 'depicts', 'accounting for', 'took the second position', 'experienced a steady decrease'). The report demonstrates a good range of lexical items, but there is room for more sophisticated phrasing (e.g., 'school leaves' should be 'school leavers', and 'after which fell' could be rephrased for better flow). Overall, the lexical resource is strong and natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate tenses. There are no significant grammar errors, and punctuation is used correctly. Minor issues include a slight awkwardness in phrasing ('after which fell' could be 'after which it fell') and a missing article ('the figure for employed school leavers' is fine, but 'the proportion for unemployed students' could be 'the proportion of unemployed students'). Overall, the grammar is accurate and controlled.

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