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Band 6+: The charts show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008-2014. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents two pie charts depicting volunteer distribution percentages by organization types in 2008 and 2014; in 2008, Environmental volunteers accounted for 21%, Sport 15%, Health Care 9%, Educational 24%, Art 18%, and Others 7%; by 2014, Environmental rose to 29%, Sport increased to 25%, Health Care declined to 8%, Educational dropped to 17%, Art decreased to 12%, and Others grew to 9%.

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The given pie charts provide information about the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008-2014. Overall, it is noticeable that volunteers in environmental, sport and health care organizations increased, while people in art, educational and other organizations decreased.

As regards the organizations that rose dramatically, people in environmental and sport society composed 21% and 15% and then grew by 9 and 10 percent. The least popular organization for volunteers was health care and remained almost unchanged. In 2008, it was 8% and increased to 9% in 2014.

Turning to decreased figures, in 2008, the most popular community among those willing was educational, representing a quarter of the total, but fell to 17 percent in 2014. If we look at the art organization, it was about one-fifth of the total, which was in third place in popularity. However, it represented 12% with a difference of 6% after 5 years. The last group(other) represented 15 percent and decreased significantly to 9%.

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

organizations: 4

volunteers: 3

percent: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and changes in volunteer percentages across different organizations between 2008 and 2014. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, and the description of 'Others' is not entirely clear. To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and that comparisons are precise. Also, avoid using vague language like 'decreased significantly' without providing the specific figures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The organization of details within paragraphs sometimes feels disjointed, affecting the overall coherence. For instance, the final paragraph mixes details about 'other' organizations with comparisons to previous years without a clear transition. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparisons and changes over time. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for more precise and varied language to describe the data. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'increased' or 'decreased,' try synonyms like 'grew,' 'rose,' 'fell,' or 'diminished.' Also, consider using more specific terms to describe the changes, such as 'a significant increase' or 'a slight decline.' This would enhance the sophistication of your language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'people in environmental, sport and health care organizations increased' is grammatically awkward; it should be rephrased to something like 'volunteer rates in environmental, sport, and health care organizations increased.' Similarly, 'The last group(other) represented 15 percent and decreased significantly to 9%' contains an unclear reference and a potential error in the data (the 'other' category started at 7%, not 15%). Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate data representation to improve grammatical accuracy.

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