Band 4+: The diagram below give information on transport and car use in edmonton.

The report addresses the task and presents an overall trend, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. The pie chart data is misrepresented: the report states that LRT is used by nearly half of the citizens, whereas the visual description indicates cars are at 45% and LRT at 35%. Additionally, the table data is incorrectly reported: business use is stated as 45% instead of 5%, and the figures for shopping and leisure are conflated. The report also omits the 10% for taking children to school. To improve, ensure that all key data points are accurately described and clearly separated between the two visual elements. Organize the information logically, and avoid vague or incorrect statements. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs for each visual. However, the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the overview mentions 'majority of the population use LRT' but the data shows cars are the most used, which confuses the reader. The second paragraph mixes data from the pie chart and the table without clear signposting, and the final paragraph lacks a logical connection to the previous one. To improve, use clear topic sentences, link ideas with cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly'), and ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with limited range. Words like 'used' and 'proportion' are overused, and there are inaccuracies such as 'implement of transport' and 'calls for using the car'. The report would benefit from more precise and varied vocabulary, such as 'mode of transport', 'commuting', 'leisure pursuits', and 'account for'. Additionally, avoid informal or incorrect phrases like 'just nearly half' and 'ofstood at'. Use a more formal and academic tone throughout.

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that impede clarity. Examples include 'provides an information' (incorrect article), 'majority of the population use LRT' (subject-verb agreement), 'had used car' (incorrect tense), and 'the proportions of shopping and free activities, which were in the lowest, ofstood at only 15%' (fragmented and unclear). There is also inconsistent use of percentages and numbers. To improve, focus on sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Practice writing clear, concise sentences and proofread to eliminate errors.