Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts the sugar production process from sugar cane, showing stages: growing sugar cane (12-18 months), harvesting using machines/workers, crushing in mills producing raw juice, purification using limestone filtering, heating in an evaporator to create syrup, centrifugation to separate sugar crystals, and drying/cooling for final sugar product.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The diagram demonstrates the manufacturing process of making sugar.The process consists of seven steps which include:growth of sugar canes,harvesting,crushing,purifying juice through limestone filter,making syrup from juice,extraction sugar crystals from the liquid, and also, drying and cooling.

Firstly,this system needs sugar canes to be waited for 12-18 months. Then, sugar canes have to be gathered up by special machines or with using human’s strength.

After this step, the canes are being crushed and that is the way of receiving juice from them.The next stages include purifying juice with help of limestone filter and force juice to accept the other aggregate state.

The sixth stage requires centrifuge. It means extraction the crystals from juice. After the whole process,sugar must be dried and cooled.

In conclusion,this method of making sugar is very complicated and long-lasting.Especially, growth of sugar canes is really prolonged. The labour which workers apply to finish the process is valuable and needs to be appreciated.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sugar: 6

juice: 5

canes: 4

process: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies the main stages of the sugar manufacturing process, but the description lacks detail and clarity. There is some attempt to summarise the information, but the explanation of each stage is quite basic and lacks specific details. The language is simple and there are some grammatical errors. To improve, provide more specific details about each stage of the process, use more precise language, and ensure grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally logical sequence, following the stages of the sugar manufacturing process. However, the connections between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes weak, leading to a lack of flow. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally inaccurate ('Firstly, this system needs...'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the ideas within each paragraph could be more tightly focused. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas both within and between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic and that all sentences within the paragraph relate to that topic.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and some word choices are not entirely accurate or natural ('force juice to accept the other aggregate state'). There is some repetition of basic vocabulary. To improve lexical resource, try to use more precise and varied vocabulary related to manufacturing processes and the specific steps involved in sugar production. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms for common words and phrases, and pay attention to the specific connotations of different words.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('sugar canes have to be gathered up'), incorrect article usage ('extraction the crystals'), and awkward sentence structures ('that is the way of receiving juice from them'). These errors frequently impede understanding. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, including verb tenses, articles, and sentence structure. Review and correct errors in your writing, and seek feedback from a teacher or tutor. Practice writing regularly and pay attention to the grammar used in well-written texts.

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Band 5+: The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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