Process Diagram

Band 7+: The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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The image describes how sugar is produced from sugar cane via a seven-step process: (1) Growing (12-18 months); (2) Harvesting; (3) Crushing with resulting sugar cane juice; (4) Purifying juice with limestone filter; (5) Evaporator producing syrup; (6) Centrifuge separating sugar crystals; (7) Drying and cooling.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates the production method of consumable sugar from sugar cane.

Overall, the process includes seven steps, begining with the growing of sugar cane to the manufacturing of marketable sugar.

In the begining of the process, firstly sugar canes are grown up to 12-18 months. Then, these are harvested through two ways, either manually by hands or mechanically by harvestor. Later on, the canes are crushed in the crushing machine to extract the juice inside the canes. After that, the juice is purified in a funnel shaped limestone filter. Following the process, the filtrated juice is heated with fire to evaporate the extra moisture from the liquid by keeping them in an evaporator until they turn into syrup. Then, the syrup is centrifuged in order to separate the sugar crystals from the syrup. Finally, the centrifuged sugar crystals undergo drying and cooling phase simultaneously to produce the ultimate consumable sugar.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sugar: 7

process: 3

canes: 3

juice: 3

syrup: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the sugar production process, covering all key stages from growing to drying and cooling. The description is clear and follows the sequence of the diagram well. To improve, consider using more varied language and focusing on the relationships between the stages to enhance the flow and cohesion of the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The use of sequencing words like 'Then,' 'Later on,' and 'Following the process' helps to guide the reader through the different stages. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more concise. Consider combining the first two sentences into a single, more impactful introductory statement. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the process to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the sugar manufacturing process. Terms like 'harvested,' 'crushed,' 'purified,' 'evaporate,' 'centrifuged,' and 'consumable sugar' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider using synonyms or more specific terms where possible. For example, instead of 'heated with fire,' you could use 'heated in a furnace' or 'heated using a combustion process.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For example, 'begining' should be 'beginning,' and 'harvestor' should be 'harvester.' Also, 'In the begining of the process, firstly sugar canes are grown up to 12-18 months' is a bit awkward; consider rephrasing it to 'Initially, sugar cane is grown for 12-18 months.' Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement throughout the report.

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